And Then...I Kissed Her
by Jamie Sommers
Summary: Landon Carter just got sentenced to do the school play and now he needs help with his lines. Jamie Sullivan is willing to help him on one condition...he has to promise not to fall in love with her.
1. The Plan

"…And Then…I Kissed Her"

By: Jamie Sommers

Email: jamiesommers23@hotmail.com

Rated:  P/G 13 (for language)

Synopsis:  Landon Carter just got sentenced to do the spring play, but he needs help with his lines and Jamie Sullivan has agreed to help him on one condition…he had to promise not to fall in love with her.  

Chapter 1: The Plan 

_'There is no way in hell I'm asking her.  No way!  I just can't.  Nope.'_ I began shaking my head back and forth trying to convince myself, _'I'm not asking Jamie Sullivan for help.'_

My mind started going down a mental list of all the other cast members, checking them off one by one.  

'Sally hates me plus…she's a bitch.  Eddie?  Hell no!  Jill?  Nope, she's never gotten over that crush she had on me in the third grade.  Parker?  Nuh uh.  Too many zitz.  I don't think I could look at her for more than a second without thinking pizza face and I like pizza waaay too much to give it that kind of wrap.  That blonde haired girl?  What the hell was her name again?  Cross her off.  She wasn't even good enough to get a speaking part.' 

Dammit.  Jamie Sullivan was my only option.  

'You do have the most lines together so…  Geez, Landon.  You're gonna have to ask the Virgin Mary for help.  Shit.  Like going to church once a week wasn't bad enough.'

I tried to work up the courage to ask her during the entire play practice, but there was always someone around and there was no way I was asking her in front of anyone.  

'It's bad enough I had to do this screwed up play, I sure as hell don't want to give these people the impression that I'm willing to socialize with them.'

I overheard her telling Sally that she had to go to her locker after rehearsal--she forgot something.  

'Great.  I'll just talk to her there.  Miss. Garber has a habit of keeping us about 15 minutes longer than she's supposed to, which is why Eric left me hangin' that first day of play practice, he got tired of waiting.  No one will be in the hallways, so I won't have to worry about anybody seeing me with her.  Cool.'

I had a plan.  Plan A.

I screwed around for a while with my books and shit, when Miss Garber dismissed us.  Jamie seemed to be talking to Sally again and it was taking her forever to leave.  

'Come on.  Let's go.'

I was getting a little edgy.  I was afraid she wasn't going to leave that damn theater…ever.  So I left.  I sat in my car for waiting for her, but when she came out she was with that damn Eddie Zimmerhoff.  

'God I hate that guy.'

It was obvious he had a crush on her, but there was no way in hell the Virg…Jamie was gonna give him the time of day.  

'Hell, even she's got standards.  Face it Eddie, you're a total loser.  I mean…Tom Thorton?  Trouble and cheap spats?  Geez buddy…get a life.' 

'So now what Landon?  Follow her home?  Yeah, I don't think so.  Oh well, there's always tomorrow.  I'll just get to school early and catch her at her locker before class.  No one'll be in the hallways.  Nobody willingly gets to school early…nobody but Jamie Sullivan that is.'

Yup…I had a new plan.  Plan B.

"Landon!!  You're gonna be late!"

"I know Mom.  I know."  

'Geez, the one day I have to get to school early and I sleep through my alarm.  There was no way in hell I was gonna make it to school early enough.  No way.  Shit!!'

"There's a bagel in the toaster and some juice…Landon?  Landon?"

I didn't mean to ignore my mom, but I knew if I had said goodbye to her, she'd make me eat whatever it was she was cooking for me and I just didn't have time for that this morning.  I had to get to school!   Fast!

I made it there in record time.  I didn't hit one red light--nothing but green, well…there was that one yellow light, but I made it through before it turned red, so that doesn't count.  I pulled into the closest parking spot I could find, grabbed my stuff and practically ran to her locker.  

'Don't run Landon.  Who's running?  You are.  No, I'm not.  I'm just walking…really, really fast.'

'What the hell?  Where is she?  Oh, that's just great!  She's not here.  Can you believe the nerve of this girl?  I skipped breakfast and everything.'

'Okay…new plan.  Plan C. I've got second period with her…and Dean…aaaand Belinda.  Nope, can't ask her then.'

'Okay…another new plan.  Plan D.  I've got morning break and then it's history.  History.  Is she in that class?  Damn, I can't remember.  She must be.  I swear she's in every one of my classes.  All right, I'll blow the gang off and head to history class early.  I'll catch her there.  She is in that class, right?  I think she is.'

'Science class…boooooorrrrrrring.  And where the hell was Jamie today?  Why is it whenever I need something I get hosed over?  Why can't things go my way…just once?  I don't think I'm asking for much here.'

"…so do you wanna take me?  Landon?"

"Huh?" _ 'Oooops.'  _Belinda was talking to me.

"I asked if you wanted to go with me tonight?  Tracy was supposed to but she's grounded so I thought…maybe you and I could go together.  What'd ya think?"

"Ummm…sure I guess."  I have no clue what I just agreed to or where exactly I'm going, but wherever it is, I've got to pick up Belinda by 7:00pm.  

I took my time getting to history class; Jamie wasn't here today anyway, so why bother blowing off the gang.  I shuffled in like a minute before the bell rang and who do you think is sitting in the front row?  You know what?  Jamie Sullivan is getting to be a huge pain in the ass.

'All right.  Plan E. After class.  I'll catch her after class.  Landon my man, you're back in business.  I just hope you ask her before you run out of letters to use for your plans.  There are only twenty six ya know?'

"Class dismissed.  Mr. Carter?  May I have a word with you?"

'No!  Not today.  Any other day, just not today!' 

"Ummm…sure.  What's up?"

"Mr. Carter I spoke with principal Kelly and…"

'Wait.  Jamie.  I need to talk to you.  WAIT!!!  I can't believe this.  What did I ever do to deserve this?  Other than this small thing with Clay Gephardt?  And the drinking on school grounds? And the police chase?  And cracking up my car?  And… Oh, Landon.  The list is endless.'

"I do not want you to take this discussion lightly.  Do I make myself clear Mr. Carter?"

"Crystal."  Don't ask me what he said.  I have no clue.  All I know is that he talked with Principal Kelly and that he wants to be taken seriously.  

'Then lose the Mr. Rogers sweater or shave the Colonel Sanders beard.  Pick an identity and go with it man.  Nobody takes Colonel Rogers seriously.'

"Thank you for your concern Mr. Wilkes."

I booked into that hallway.  Looked left.  Looked right.  _'Oh, man.  No Jamie Sullivan in sight.  What letter was I on?  Oh, yeah…Plan F.  Lunch.  I'll ask her at lunchtime.  Yeah, all you gotta do is figure out a way of talking to her without Dean and the gang finding out about it.  Well…you could always go to the bathroom or say that Kelly needs you to do something custodial.  Yeah…that's it.  I'll blame it on Principal Kelly.'_

I rubbed my hands together and thought, _'Plan F is looking preeeeety promising.'_

"So are we still on for tonight?"  

"Tonight?"  I'm not sure how many times I've told her, but she just doesn't seem to want to get it through her thick skull.  

'WE'RE THROUGH BELINDA!!!' 

"Um, yeah.  What time again?"

"7:00"

I know I shouldn't keep looking over at Jamie's table, I don't want to seem too obvious, but I was starting to get pretty anxious about this.  

'This is stupid.  It's not like you're asking the girl out, you're just asking for help with your lines.  She's the logical choice Landon.  Nobody else in the play has as many scenes with you as Jamie, so she's the one you need to rehearse with.  Besides, she is the best one in the class.  She won't say no.  She can't say no.  Yeah, but what if she does say no.  Oh, Christ.  She could say no.  This never occurred to me before--she could actually say no to me.  Nah.  She won't turn you down.  She'd be an idiot if she turned you down.  You're Landon Carter.  You're…oh shit…where the hell did she go?'

"…then I thought maybe we could go to the…Landon?  Landon, where are you going?"

'Just stay cool Landon.  Don't lose it.  You'll find her.  She's probably in the bathroom or at her locker.  Go check out her locker and if she isn't there THEN you can lose it.'

'Holy shit!  She's there and she's alone.  Now what?  Now you ask her.  What?  Just like that?  You're being an idiot Landon.  This is Jamie Sullivan we're talking about here.  Exactly, it's Jamie Sullivan…the reverend's daughter.  So, just play it cool.  Just be nice to her and say please.  Don't forget to say please.'

I opened the door and walked into the hallway, kinda looking around to make sure no one I knew was around.

"Jamie?"  _'Why does she have to look at me like she can see right through me?'_

"What'd ya want, Carter?  I've known you for years and you've never been the first to say hello."

'Throw yourself at her mercy Landon.'  "I need help with my lines."

"Landon Carter is asking me for help?"

"Yeah."  _'You don't have to seem so shocked, ya know.'_

"Okay…I'll pray for you." 

_'Oh, she is just not getting this.'  _"Jamie…no…look…I really need help…"

"You've obviously never asked anybody for help before, right?"  _'Well you don't have to look at me like that's a bad thing.' _ "A request like yours requires…"  _'Could we stop walking here.  Shit…I know some of these people.'  _"…flattery and groveling.  It has to be for the common good of everybody."

"It IS for the common good, okay.  Eddie Zimmerhoff deserves the best."  _'She's not falling for it.  Time to break out the big guns.'_  "Please."  _'Now flash her that puppy dog face you use on your mother and…'_

"Okay." 

'Gotcha!' 

"One condition though Carter."

"What's that?"

"You have to promise you won't fall in love with me."  _'You've got to be kidding me, right?  Have you seen the way you dress.'_

"That's not a problem."  

"Okay…I'll see you this afternoon after school."

"Okay."  I knew I needed her help, but I just couldn't seem to get this thought out of my head,_ 'what've you gotten yourself into Carter?'_

Coming soon…

Chapter 2:  Let's Play


	2. Let's Play

…And Then…I Kissed Her

By: Jamie Sommers

Email: _jamiesommers23@hotmail.com_

Rated: PG 13 (for language)

Synopsis:  Landon Carter just got sentenced to do the school play and he needs help.  Jamie Sullivan has agreed to give him a hand on one condition…he has to promise not to fall in love with her.

Chapter 2:  Let's Play

'All right, now all ya gotta do is make up some lame ass excuse for Dean about hanging out after school for the next few weeks.  Hmmm.  I could blame it on the janitorial thing again.  Nah, they'd just try and break me out.  Can't blame it on my mom grounding me, they know she's not home in the afternoons so… Just tell them the truth Landon.  Yeah, that's not gonna happen.  I can just see it now, hey guys I'm running lines with Jamie Sullivan after school instead of hanging out with you, that's cool right?  Landon my man, ya better come up with something fast cause school's almost out for the day.'

I pretty much ran to the car after school--actually it was more like a hobble--hoping to avoid everybody.  Fortunately it worked.  I noticed Dean waving me over as I got in and started the ignition, but I just pretended not to see him.  

'Off to Jamie's house.  Oh, man.  I hope her father's not there.  Well if he is you had better be on your best behavior Landon.'  I laughed to myself, realizing that I sounded a lot like my mom.  

It had been a while since I've been in the area that Jamie lived in.  It wasn't a bad area, more like a residential type of place.  It was the kind of neighborhood where kids ran through the sprinklers in their yards and played baseball in the street.  Eric lived a couple blocks away from her years ago, but they moved when his dad got that big promotion.  I pulled up to the curb and took a deep breath.  I still couldn't believe I was doing this.  

'Well…here it goes.'

"Ummm…Hey."

"Hi."  

_'Whatta ya gawking at?'  _"So you gonna keep me out here all afternoon or what?"

"Come on in.  My script is in my room so I'll be right down."  

_'Just hurry up.  I do not want to spend all afternoon in this house with you.'_

"Make yourself at home."

"Oh, yeah."  _'t'sss not likely.  Did I just say that out loud?'  _I walked around thinking, _'It's quite the mausoleum you've got here Jamie.  That must be your mom.  Hmmmm.  What else is around here?  What the fu…'_

"Whoa…that is one scary Jesuh…"

"No.  Jamie's father."

'Holy shit!  Where'd he come from?' 

"So Mr. Carter, I understand that you've managed to win the lead in the school play. Congratulations."

"Listen, thanks for letting me come over and run lines with Jamie."  _'Glad you were feeling Christian today.'_

"I didn't let you."

"Oh."  _'So much for the whole feeling Christian theory.'_

"It's a school night. Let's get one thing straight Mr. Carter. You think on Sundays that I don't see you from where I stand, but I see you. I'll be in my office just here."  
  
"Ready?" __

_'Gee I don't know Jamie.  I was having such a good time listening to your father tell me what a piece of crap I am.'_

"Yeah, let's go."

"So where do you want to do this?"  

_'Anywhere I won't be seen.' _

"We could go out back or on the porch?"

"Out back is fine."  We sat down on a couple of lounge chairs and started reading.  

##

"So tell me about this 'dream girl'." 

"Well she's like…ummm…shit!" I began looking through the script, trying desperately to find my place.

"Landon?"

"What?"  I know I sounded a bit annoyed at her, but couldn't she see I was busy here?

"I would really appreciate it if you wouldn't swear around me."

_'You've got to be kidding me, right?  She really is the Virgin Mary.'_  "Sorry 'bout that."

"That's all right, just please don't do it again."

I began rifling through my script again, when she recited my lines word for word.  "How'd you do that?" 

"Do what?"

"Do you know every single line in this play by heart?" 

"Yes."

'I can't even memorize my own part and she's got the whole thing down. Impressive.  I knew I picked the right person to help me with this.'

"I did have to write the music and Eddie is a friend of mine."

"Yeah…right."  I rolled my eyes at her and began to chuckle.  "Friends."

"Ummm.  What is that supposed to mean?"

"What is what supposed to mean?"

"Look Landon I know it's hard for you to believe, but I do actually have friends you know."

"Yeah," I chuckled behind my fist, trying to disguise it as a cough, "I know.  Eddie Zimmerhoff."  I couldn't control myself.  I just busted up laughing.  "I'm sorry.  I don't mean to laugh at you it's just…"

"Don't worry about it, Carter.  I've gotten used to you laughing at me over the years."

_'What the hell is that supposed to mean?'_  "Excuse me?"  

"Landon you and your friends…"  

_'I really didn't like the way she said the word friends._'  

"…have been making fun of me since kindergarten, so why wouldn't I get used to it?  It was either that or wind up in therapy for low self esteem."

 "Look, Jamie.  I'm really sorry about the shit we used to…HEY?  Where are you going?"  My laughter came to an abrupt halt.  "Jamie?" 

"I told you not to swear around me."

_'Wow.  Jamie Sullivan doesn't pull any punches does she?'  _She walked into her house and let the door slam behind her.  "Ummm," I knocked on the door.  "Jamie?  Jamie?"  _'She's coming back, right?  She has to.  She can't just leave me out here.'_

I looked at my watch and realized that over thirty minutes had passed and it dawned on me, _'you screwed up Landon.  Now what?'_

"How long are you going to sit out here before you realize that I'm not coming back out?"  _'She's baaaack.'_

"You're not?"  I asked her and flashed her one of my trademark grins.  "Then why are you standing next to me?"  She just looked at me with this curious expression across her face.  "Jamie, I'm really sorry.  I forgot about my language and I shouldn't have made fun of you.  It wasn't fair.  I'll make you a deal.  I won't make fun of you anymore and you've got to cut me some slack when it comes to my swearing.  I mean…you're asking a lot here.  So…what'd ya say?  Deal?"

She thought about it for a while then said, "I suppose so.  Just try to watch your mouth when my father is around or else he won't let us rehearse together, okay?"

"Okay."

"And Landon?"

"Yeah." She put her hand on my arm and I got this really weird feeling, like a spider was crawling up my arm or something.  It was just really…weird.

"I didn't leave because of your swearing."

"Then why did you leave?"

"Because contrary to belief, I don't like being laughed at."  I could see the emotion in her eyes and for the first time in my life I realized something.  I was an asshole.  Not a good thing to be in my book, so I promised myself that I would try to hold up my end of the bargain that I made with Jamie.

"I'm sorry," I laid my hand on top of hers and looked into her eyes, "I really mean it.  I'm sorry."

"I know you mean it.  If you didn't I wouldn't be out here running lines with you."

"So you're gonna run lines with me?"

"I suppose so."  

She kind of smiled at me and I noticed she had this really cute little mole on her cheek…  _'Whoa!  Where the hell did that come from?  Better watch out Carter.  This is not the kind of girl you want to screw…mess around with.' _

Coming soon…

Chapter 3: What Play?


	3. What Play?

…And Then…I Kissed Her

By: Jamie Sommers

Email: _jamiesommers23@hotmail.com_

Rated: PG 13 (for language)

Synopsis:  Landon Carter just got sentenced to do the school play and he needs help.  Jamie Sullivan has agreed to give him a hand on one condition…he has to promise not to fall in love with her.

Chapter 3:  What Play?

When I got to Jamie's house the next day she was sitting on her porch swing with a pitcher of iced tea and a plate of cookies placed on the small table beside her.  Her script was lying in her lap and her head was tilted to the side, like she was looking over her shoulder, but her eyes were closed and her breathing was shallow.  She was asleep.  I couldn't help but grin when I saw her like that. She really looked innocent, like a little girl almost.  _'A little girl, with really pretty hair._  _Holy shi...  You'd better snap out of this Landon.  This is Jamie Sullivan you're looking at, not some girl.'_

I must've made some noise because she opened her eyes up and looked at me.  "Hi."  She said it so softly I wasn't sure if it was her or the afternoon breeze.  

I walked up to her and made a gesture towards the empty seat next to her on the swing, "May I?"

"Please do."  She skootched over and made a little more room for me.  "So how was your day?"

_'How was my day?  She's asking me about my day?'_  "Ummm.  Fine."  _'Don't be rude Landon.  Ask her about hers.'_  "How was yours?"

"Pretty good.  So how'd you do on the pop quiz in history today?"

"Welllllll…." 

"Oh, come on Carter. It wasn't that bad.  It could've been worse."

"How's that?"

"Coulda been a pop quiz on what's in the school cafeteria's lasagna.  Did you see that stuff today? I couldn't believe anybody would actually eat it."

We both started laughing, I mean really laughing and I thought, _'well what'd ya know, Jamie Sullivan has a sense of humor.'_  It's not that it was all that funny; it's just…well for the first time I actually felt comfortable with her.  

"So, how'd you do on it…the test?" I asked her.

"Pretty good actually.  I got an eighty eight."

"How about you?"

"Ummm…niiiinmmethriye." I mumbled.  I had to be careful here, I didn't want my reputation as a rebellious, misunderstood, hormonal teenage boy getting tarnished.

"What?"

I cleared my throat and said, "Ninety Three." _'What the hell, we'll tarnish it.'_

"YOU got a ninety three?" 

_'Hey.  It could happen.  It DID happen.'  _"Yeah.  You don't have to look so shocked you know."

"It's just that I never expected you of all people to get…"

"What's that supposed to mean?  Me of all people?"  We were still kind of chuckling back and forth but something inside me really wanted to know what she meant by that.

"Well you haven't exactly spent your high school career concentrating on your scholastics."

"How do you know?"  All traces of humor were completely gone from my voice.

She looked at me so seriously and said, "I guess I don't know."  After a minute of us looking at each other she said, "So?"

"So what?"

"Have you been?" she put her hands on my lap and kind of shook me.

"Been what??" I put my hands on her lap and mimicked her.

"Been concentrating on your scholastics?"

"Wellllll…" I scratched my chin and looked upward trying to act all innocent and we both busted up laughing.

"Oh, Landon."

I don't know if that was the first time she called me Landon or if it was the way she said it, but I kinda liked it when she called me that.

"You know Carter, you're pretty funny."

_'Ah, so we're back to Carter.'_

"So, where's your father?" 

"At the church.  That's why we have to stay on the porch today."

"Oh."  _'I suppose it'll be okay to sit out front this once.'_

"Is that okay?"

"Yeah.  It's fine. I'm kind of relieved actually."

"Why is that?"

"Because your dad hates me."

"It's not that he hates you Landon.  He's just concerned about the path you're choosing to take with your life."  She leaned over and picked up the pitcher of iced tea and began pouring two glasses.  "I don't think it's possible for my father to hate someone.  I don't believe anyone can truly say they HATE someone." 

"How can you say that?  Thank you," she handed me a glass of tea.  "How can you say that no one is capable of hate?"

"Because I believe that people are basically good at heart."

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me?  So you're telling me that Adolf Hitler was basically a good person.  Oh, I know…I know…he was just a misunderstood racist."

"That's not what I'm saying.  What I'm saying is that hate is a very strong word…"

We sat there for hours and went back and forth about different topics.  News, sports, food, you name it, Jamie and I debated it.  Funny thing was, we had more in common than I had ever imagined.  _'Don't let her know that Carter.'_

Her father got home sometime around 7pm, "How's the play rehearsal coming?"  

'Play rehearsal?' 

We both answered at the same time. "Fine."

When he walked into the house we just looked at each other and started giggling.  We hadn't even cracked open our scripts yet and I thought, _'geez Landon.  When was the last time you giggled?'_

"Listen.  I better go."

"But Landon," she whispered, "we haven't even run any lines yet."

"That's okay, we'll make up for it tomorrow."  I winked at her and gathered up my stuff.  "So I'll see you after school then?"

"I'm looking forward to it."  She got up and walked me to the stairs and as I turned around to walk to my car I realized that I was looking forward to it too.

Coming Soon…

Chapter 4:  ?


	4. Between The Lines

…And Then…I Kissed Her

By:  Jamie Sommers

Email:  jamiesommers23@hotmail.com

Rated: P/G13 for language

Synopsis:  Landon Carter needs help with his lines and Jamie Sullivan has agreed to give him a hand on one condition…he has to promise not to fall in love with her.

Chapter 4:  Between The Lines 

"So tell me about this 'dream girl.'"

"I…I…don't know where to begin.  She had this face that was so perfect so…angelic almost.  She was…" _'okay now this is the line you've been having problems with so just concentrate Landon.  Pretend you're looking at that big booty girl from Selena.' _ "…she was a lot like you."  _'Now look at her and say it like you mean it.'_  "You're beautiful."  _'Yeah…that sucked.' _ 

"What else happened in your dream?"

"I really can't remember.  It's like one of those dreams that haunt you at night, but in the morning it's gone.  Can you help me to remember?"

"How?"

"In my dream this angel, she sings to me…  Will you sing for me?"

"Wow, Landon!  That was really good except…"

'She's gonna tell you that the, 'you're beautiful' line bit.'

"…you really haven't memorized as many of your lines as I had hoped you would."

"Oh…ummm…right.  I was gonna try and memorize more of them last night, but it was after 7:00 when I left here and it was my night to cook so…"

"That's okay, Landon.  You don't have to make up an excuse, I'm not going to keep you after school or anything."

"I'm not making up an excuse.  It really was my night to cook then I had to do some laundry so I really didn't have much time to memorize my lines."

"Laundry?  Okay."  She looked at me like I had just flat out lied to her.

I wanted to just scream out at her, _'why do you do that?  Why do you infuriate me so easily?  I was doing laundry.  I was making dinner.  I'm not lying!'_

"So you wanna work on some of the scenes you have with Sally?"

"Yeah, sure."  I know my tone was clipped, but she really pissed me off.  

"Okay, how about Act II, scene 1?"

"Sure, you wanna start?"

"Ummm.  You have the first line Landon." 

"Oh, yeah.  Right."  _'How the hell does she do that?  She didn't even open her script up and she knows that I have the first line.  I don't even know what Act II, scene 1 is about and she's telling me I have the first line.'_

I quickly found the page we were starting on, looked it over and said, "I've decided to break my connections with Johnny Barbarino and start my own little import/export business."

"But Tommy, I thought you were getting out of the business completely."

"Get out?  Is that what you thought?  Nah…I can't kid.  I can't leave this racket while the going is good."

" But Tommy, the going isn't good.  You haven't made enough to cover the girls wages for two weeks now…"

"That's why I'm doing this!  Look me and Carmine have a plan."

"But Tommy…"

"Pour me a drink Joey."

"You promised me Tommy.  No more of your no-good-nick schemes.  You promised me we'd go to Paris."

"I'm not gonna sit on my kiester and watch all the fat cats in this town get rich, okay?  Trust me this is a sure thing."

"That's it.  We are through.  Go ahead and run your booze ya big dope, and I hope you drown in it.  Soooo…you must be the new girl he's hired.  The singer?  Want some free advice about this one?  Stay far away he's nothin' but trouble and cheap spats."

"See ya around kid."

"Well you seem to have that scene memorized.  You didn't look at your script at all."

"Yeah…so now what?"  I asked since we were done with that scene.

"How about the one in the beginning between you and Sally's character, Caroline."

"Ummm…which one?"

"The one that starts with 'when did you know Tommy.'"

I began rifling through the pages again when she leaned closer to me and said, "Here."  Her fingers brushed up against my hand as she turned the pages of my script.  Her hair fell across my arm and the scent…

'It smells like flowers.'

"I know it's here somewhere.  Oh, here it is."  She found the page and turned to me and said, "When did you know, Tommy?"

"Know what?"  She was looking at me so intently it was hard for me to keep focused on my lines.

"That we were in love."

"Love?"  _'No way…not with Jamie Sullivan.  You don't even like her.'_  "Baby, believe me.  You don't wanna go fallin' in love with a guy like me."  _'Okay…so who's doing the talking here?  Tom Thorton or Landon Carter?'_

"It's too late Tommy.  I'm crazy about you.  I'm breathing it, drinking it all in.  Aren't you?"

The only thing I was drinking in at the time was the sound of her voice, it was so soft, so gentle.  Her smile was so innocent and that mole…  that damn mole.  I bet she had no idea how sexy that thing was?  _'SEXY?  Jamie Sullivan?  Snap out of it Landon!!  Better not let her father hear you say…' _

"Did you forget your lines Mr. Carter?"  

It's like the guy was reading my every thought.  He just appeared out of nowhere whenever I was thinking something I shouldn't have been.  _'Maybe he really does have connections with a higher power?'_

"Ummm.  I'm sorry sir."

"What for?"

"Ummm…" I had no idea why this guy intimidated me so much, but he did.

"I believe your next line is, 'I don't know what I'm drinking doll face, but if this is love…pour me another glass.'  Am I right Jamie?"

"Yes daddy."

I just looked at the two of them. _'What'd ya guys do at night, rotate between reading the bible and this stupid play?'_

"Thank you sir."

"Don't mention it." Then he looked at Jamie and said, "Don't you have homework you need to get done tonight?"

"I did it in study hall."

"I didn't know you had study hall," he said.

"Well, I went there instead of gym today."

'I didn't know that was an option, but if it is, I'm gonna have to look into that.'

I noticed Jamie's father giving her this really curious stare and it made me feel sort of uncomfortable.  "Are you feeling all right?" he asked her.

"I'm fine daddy."

"Jamie?"

"Daddy.  I'm fine."  They exchanged this really weird look then he nodded and went back into the house.

"Hey?" I asked, "Is everything okay?"

"It's fine.  Wanna go on with the rest of the scene?"

"Sure."  I don't know what happened out there between her and her father, but there was something more than what she was letting onto.  

"I don't know what I'm drinking doll face…"

Coming Soon…

Chapter 5


	5. That Night

…And Then…I Kissed Her

By:  Jamie Sommers

Email:  jamiesommers23@hotmail.com

Rated: P/G13 for language

Synopsis:  Landon Carter needs help with his lines and Jamie Sullivan has agreed to give him a hand on one condition…he has to promise not to fall in love with her.

Chapter 5:  That Night 

I started off my morning with Dean grilling me the about where I've been disappearing to lately.  "Lahhhhndon!  Where have ya been?"

"Nowhere." I sure as hell couldn't tell him I'd been spending my days with Jamie Sullivan.

"Hey, come here."  He threw his arm around my shoulder and pulled me over to the side, "Are we cool?"

I just looked at him like he was crazy and said, "yeah."  

Then after history class Jamie stopped me in the hallway, "Hey Carter!"

'Shit.  Why is she talking to me here?' 

"Hey.  What'd ya want?"

"I can't run lines with you after school today. I have an appointment."

"Ummm…okay."  I kept shuffling my feet like I was in some kind of hurry--I just didn't want anybody to see us talking.  

'Hope I'm not being too obvious.'

"Are you in a hurry Carter?"

'Guess it was obvious.'

"Well sort of."

"Okay, well I just wanted to let you know that tomorrow would be fine, but not today."

"Okay.  Great.  I'll see you tomorrow after school."  _'Just leave before somebody sees me with you.'_

" 'kay.  Bye."

I saw Eric and Belinda walking down the hall towards us as she turned the corner and I thought, _'that was a close one.  Too close.'_  "Hey guys!"

"Landon!" Eric and I began doing our handshake, which we had mastered over the years, while Belinda rolled her eyes at us and laughed.  "My man!  You still going tonight?"

'Tonight?  Where were we going tonight?' 

"Ummm…yeah.  Wouldn't miss it for the world."  I just had to find out what it was I wasn't missing.

"Dean's coming too."

"I still can't believe you guys are going across the state line just to see a bunch of strippers."

'That's right!  We were going to that strip club tonight.  Thanks for reminding me Belinda.  This day is actually turning out pretty good.  I don't have to spend the afternoon with Jamie and her father plus I get to end it with a bunch of naked women shaking their groove thing in my face.  Yep.  This is gonna be a great day.'  So why did I have this feeling of disappointment sitting in my stomach like a rock?

##

When I left school that day I automatically drove to Jamie's house before remembering that she wasn't going to be there. 'That's right, she had an appointment.  That's too bad.  I really wanted to show her how many of my lines I had memorized.'  So I went home and studied the script some more.  I thought it'd be cool if I surprised her tomorrow by knowing all of my dialogue and not having to use my script all the time.  

"When you walked out of the rain and into my club, that wasn't just a coincidence, was it?"  I repeated this over and over until I had it committed to memory, then I heard Jamie say her line in my head, 'nothing's coincidence.  I love the way she says that line.  She's got such a softness about her.'  

"You remind me of this dame…" I practiced my lines while getting ready to go out with the guys, all the while imagining Jamie's response to everything I said in my head, 'tell me about this dream girl.'  

I had spent the better part of the afternoon rehearsing my part and the majority of the evening thinking about Jamie.  'What're you doing, man?  Why are you thinking about her all the time?  This is crazy.  You've known this girl since kindergarten…' But somewhere in the back of my mind I wondered, did I really know her?  I couldn't seem to keep her off of my mind and it was starting to bother me.  I got into my mom's car and started driving to meet Dean and Eric.  'Just crank up the radio.' But when I did, this CD started playing. It was the one she loaned me a yesterday.

"I don't think this is really my kind of music, Jamie."

"Would you just try it?  Come on.  You never know…you might actually like it."

"Look Jamie, I don't think so."

"Please," she tilted her head and smiled that sweet innocent smile and said, "for me?"

She was right.  'I hate it when she's right.'  I did like it.  It was nowhere near the kind of stuff I normally listened to, but it was kinda cool in it's own way.   'What's happening to you Landon?  The next thing you know you'll be feeling guilty about going to this club with Eric and Dean tonight.'  I no sooner said it, but felt it: GUILT!  It was coursing through my veins.  I slammed my finger onto the eject button and put on some heavy rock. 'She hate's this kind of music.'  It was like I was listening to it just to spite her.  

As I drove down the road I told myself to relax.  'There's nothing to feel guilty about it's not like she's gonna catch you…' That's when I saw her.  She was walking into the cemetery and I wondered aloud, "What the hell?"  I pulled over to the side of the road and got out.  'What are you doing Landon?  You're supposed to be meeting Dean and Eric right now, not chasing after Jamie Sullivan in a dark cemetery.'

I kinda hobbled after her and said, "Hey."  _'I was just thinking about you.'_  "What're you doing here?"

"I should ask you the same question."

"Do you normally walk by yourself in the cemetery at night?" _'That's not too safe ya know?'_

"Maybe."  She turned to walk away.

"Hey,"  for some reason I really wanted to stop her from leaving.  "Where ya going?" 

She turned and flashed her flashlight in my eyes.  "Come and see."

I told myself that it was for her own protection.  _'She shouldn't be walking around here by herself at night.'_  She led me through the cemetery to an area where this big, white…thing was sitting.  "Okay…what is that?"

"This is my telescope.  I built it when I was twelve."

'Hmmmm, what'd ya know.  Bible thumper slash Handyman.'

"Take a look."

I bent down and looked through the eyepiece. "Saturn. Very cool."

"Yeah, I'm planning on building a larger one so I can see the comet Hiakutaki.  It comes this spring, but nobody knows when it's coming back."

"Ahhhh.  Nature's miracles."  I knew I was being kind of a jerk.  I was on the verge of making fun of her--something I promised her I wouldn't do--I just couldn't seem to help myself.  "I get it."

"Get what?"

"That you're into all this stuff."

"This stuff.  I have my beliefs.  I have faith.  But don't you?"

"No.  There's too much bad shit in this world."

"Without suffering there'd be no compassion."

"Yeah, well tell that to those that suffer."  I could hear her sigh as she stood there shaking her head back and forth at me.  

I knew I should've left.  I should've met Dean and Eric like I had planned but instead I heard myself saying, "So why don't you try to convince me that I should believe in this shit?"  

She tilted her chin and blinked real slowly, I suppose she was trying to determine whether or not I was being legit.  "Okay."  She took out a book from her backpack and opened it up.  "This is Cassiopeia," she pointed to this constellation of stars on her page then adjusted the telescope to find it in the sky.  "See, if you connect the stars you'll see an upside-down crown in the sky."

"Looks like a "W" to me."

She began to laugh that lighthearted giggle and then began explaining the legend of Cassiopeia; how she was doomed to spend an eternity in the sky, which wasn't so bad, except she had to do it upside-down.  

"So doesn't her dress fall over her head?"  We both started laughing and I got this really good feeling inside of me.  "I mean...Hercules is probably staring at her unmentionables as we speak."  Her laughter was contagious, I just kept cracking jokes and she just kept laughing.  Before I knew it, it was after 10:00.  _'Too late to meet up with Dean and Eric, so might as well enjoy yourself with Jamie.  Enjoy yourself with Jamie?  Who'd a known it was possible?'_

We talked for another hour or so then she said she had to get home.  Her father would be worried about her being out so late on a school night.  I offered to drive her home, but I could tell that she wasn't too sure about it.  

"I don't know Landon…my father…"

"I'll drop you off down the block from your house.  He'll never even know that you were with me tonight."  I couldn't believe I was trying to convince her to let me take her home.  The entire ride to her house I just kept telling myself, _'you don't want to take her home.  You don't want to do this.  You're asking for trouble.  I'm not asking for anything, I'm just giving someone a ride.' _ I stopped the car at the end of her block.  _'Then why are you sitting in your car staring at her back while she walks into her house?'_

Coming Soon…

Chapter 6


	6. Turning Point

…And Then…I Kissed Her

By:  Jamie Sommers

Email:  jamiesommers23@hotmail.com

Rated: P/G13 for language

Synopsis:  Landon Carter needs help with his lines and Jamie Sullivan has agreed to give him a hand on one condition…he has to promise not to fall in love with her.

Chapter 6:  Turning Point 

The next day I caught some heat from Dean and Eric about blowing them off.  I had to make up some kind of story about my mom's car running out of gas and how I had to walk a couple of miles to get some.  It was a crock of shit and I knew it, but there was no way in hell I was admitting where I had really been.  I would've never heard the end of it.  _'Spending the night with Jamie Sullivan instead of a bunch of hot strippers?  Landon.  That's just not natural.'_

"Oh my goodness. Ya see this is what I love about early spring…" Eric was making some kind of lewd gesture towards this girl that was walking down the hall, "…where have those legs been hiding all winter?"  

We all started laughing at him when Tracy said, "Well if it isn't the Virgin Mary?"  

'Shit.  Jamie please don't talk to me.  Please.'

"Hey dude.  Here comes your leadin' lady."

'Oh, God!  She's stopping.'

"Hey Carter.  So I'll see you today after school?"

I don't know where it came from.  "In your dreams."  I don't know why I said it.  _'No.  You know why you said it Landon.'_  I just hoped Jamie would understand.  I couldn't let my friends know about us.  I had a reputation around this school and Jamie Sullivan just didn't fit anywhere into it.

She nodded at me like she got the point and then walked off while all my friends just stood there making comments about her and laughing at her.  _'What did you do Landon?  What did you do?'_

I drove to her house after school and prayed that she would understand.  She had to.  As I turned the ignition off in front of her house I knew I would have to do some fancy footwork to get around this.  _'Maybe if I just pretended like it didn't happen…No Landon. It happened. You were a jerk and you owe her an apology.'_

I could here her piano playing from where I stood and rang the bell a couple of times, waiting for her to answer.  When she did, that welcome smile she would always have waiting for people immediately left her face.  I just stood there with my mouth open like an idiot.  _'Jamie I'm sorry.  I shouldn't have treated you that way.'_  I was trying to get the words out, but I just couldn't. She closed the door on my face.

"Come on Jamie.  Open the door.  Please," I begged, but when she did, I wasn't too sure if I had done the right thing by asking her to come back outside.  She had this look on her face…she was pissed.  "Oh," I took a few steps back fearing for my life.  "You're not in a good mood."

"You don't miss a thing."

_'All right Landon. Just apologize.  Just admit you were a complete moron this afternoon.'_  "Listen Jamie, I was hoping we could run lines together."  _'Oh, yeah.  Great apology.'_

"Mmmm. Okay but just not so anybody knows, right?"

_'Hey, maybe she did get it after all?' _ "Well," I stupidly went along with this theory.  "I just figured we could surprise everyone with how good I get."

"Like we could be secret friends."

"Exactly."  _'What'd ya know, she DID get it.'_  "Exactly.  It's like you're reading my mind."

"Good.  Umm…Maybe you could read mine?"  I watched as her face morphed from one of happiness and understanding to one of anger and pain.  It looked like I'd have to explain myself after all.

"Jamie.  Jamie…I can't just be your friend…"  _'Not after all these years of making fun of you behind your back.  My friends would kill me.'_

She walked inside her house and stood just inside of her door.  "Landon look.  I thought I saw something in you.  Something good.  I was very wrong."

_'Ouch.'_  When she closed the door on me that time I knew it was for good.  I screamed out "Dammit!" I made my way back to my car knowing that I just screwed up something really good.  I didn't even get the word out of my mouth before her father was standing on the porch with his hands on his hips.  "Sorry." 

I got in my car and realized just how sorry I was.  I hurt the sweetest, kindest person in the world and I didn't even have enough nerve to tell her that I was sorry.  _'You know what Landon?  You don't deserve to have her as a friend.'_

##

I stormed into my house and slammed the door closed.  I couldn't believe what I had done.  I had to make her understand, I had to somehow let her know that it wasn't personal.  _'But it is personal Landon.  How can it not be personal when you pretty much told her that you didn't mind hanging out with her as long as no one knew about it?  If that's not personal, I don't know what is.'_

I began running my lines on my own, but the last thing I wanted to do was look at a reminder of Jamie, so I shoved the script into my backpack and went into the kitchen to get something to eat.  I looked through the fridge for a few minutes and realized that I wasn't hungry.  A drink.  I'll have a drink.  I saw a couple of bottles of my mom's beer in the back of the fridge and decided to pop one open.  When I did, the entire thing exploded on me and I got beer all over myself.  

'Oh, this is just great!  Now I'm sure the reverend's got connections up there.'

I threw my stuff in the wash, jumped in the shower and changed my clothes.  Thoughts of the day kept flashing through my mind, and the more I thought about it, the more horrible I felt about it.  After I was done in the shower I turned on the radio and lied back on my bed.  _'Jamie.  I'm sorry.  I'm really sorry.  I should call her and apologize.  I should just tell her that this past week has been really great.  That if it weren't for her I would've never gotten as far as I have with my lines.  I would've never looked up Cassiopeia in the encyclopedia. I would've never practiced my blocking for the play.  I would've never listened to that weird CD you gave me and liked it.  I would've never…I would've never done a lot of things.'  _

I picked up the phone and heard her gentle, "Hello."

After a beat I said, "Hey Jamie. It's Lando…"  She hung up.  _'Okay…so the phone was a bad idea.'_

"Landon?  Are you home?"  I heard my mom calling out.

"Yeah mom.  I'm in my room."

She opened the door and asked me, "Didn't you start dinner?"

"I'm not really hungry mom.  If you want I can make something for you."

"No.  Don't be silly.  I just thought…Landon?"  She looked at me kind of funny.  "Are you all right?"

"Yeah. I…I'm just not hungry."

"Are you sure?"  My mom had a way of knowing when something was bothering me and knowing my mom, she wouldn't let up until I gave in and told her.

"Mom?  I did something kind of stupid today."  I sat there told my mom everything about the last week, with the exception of the strip club, and asked her what she thought I should do.

"Well, I can't really tell you what to do, but I do know you need to apologize to Jamie."

"Mom, that's just it.  I've tried, but she won't listen to me.  She closed her door in my face.  She won't take my phone calls..."  

"Then you're not trying hard enough."

_'Not trying hard enough?  What am I supposed to do?  Hire a plane and have them skywrite, I'm sorry Jamie in big letters?'_  "You really think I should keep on fighting to get her to listen to me?"

"Well, that's up to you and whether or not you think she's worth fighting for."  She patted my leg and got up to leave my room, turning back when she got to the door.  "Landon.  I think you really need to think about this long and hard.  Think about why you're trying to apologize to Jamie.  What if she does except it tonight?  Can you promise her that it won't happen again tomorrow?"  She just stood there and looked at me.  "Think about it."

I paced around my room for a bit, trying to get rid of this restless feeling inside and turned the radio up.  I sat on the bed's edge with my elbows against my knees and began thinking about what my mother said.  Would I be able to face my friends and tell them that I was spending time with Jamie?  Probably.  Would I be able to face them and admit that I actually enjoyed the time we spent together?  Probably not.  _'What kind of jerk are you Landon?'_  

At some point in the night I picked up my yearbook from last year, I started flipping through the pages.  I don't know what I was looking for when I came across her picture.  It read, _'Jamie Sullivan:  Red Cross; Stars and Planets; Drama Club Ambition: To witness a miracle.'_ I thought about this for a while.  A long while and I realized something.  Jamie Sullivan was worth fighting for.  At that moment I made a promise to myself to try and be a better person, if not for myself then for Jamie.  I needed to earn her respect, her trust…her friendship.  I needed to make this up to her, and I knew just how to do it.  I dialed 411 and asked some questions and eventually I got all the information I needed.

"Yeah…I'd like to name a star after someone…"

Coming Soon…

Chapter 7

For Jamie's POV read her story entitled,  "…And Then…He Kissed Me." 


	7. Two Steps Forward...

…And Then…I Kissed Her

By:  Jamie Sommers

Email:  jamiesommers23@hotmail.com

Rated: P/G13 for language

Synopsis:  Landon Carter needs help with his lines and Jamie Sullivan has agreed to give him a hand on one condition…he has to promise not to fall in love with her.

Chapter 6:  Two Steps Forward… 

I sat there with my headphones on not really listening to the music that I had playing in my CD player.  I kept watching her, she was sitting with that girl she always sits with, _'What's her name? Janice?  Jenny?  Janet?'_  I had no clue, all I knew is that it started with a "j" sound--at least I think it did.  _'God Landon. You've gone to school with most of these people your whole life and you can't even remember their names?'_  Ever since last night I started taking a really good hard look at myself, at my life and where I was going.  _'Right now I'm on a one way ticket to nowhere.'_  I started thinking twice about the way I treated people, about the way I treated my friends, my family, myself.  I wasn't too happy with what I saw.  The thing is, whenever I was with Jamie I liked who I was.  I was a good person when I was around her--she just had that effect on me.  _'You need to talk to her Landon.'_  I took a deep breath and walked to the front portion of the bus where she was sitting with Gina.  _'That's it!  Gina!'_  And sat across the aisle from her.

"Jamie…listen.  About yesterday.  I should've been straight with my friends, but…you know how it is?"

She turned and looked at me like I was the lowest form of scum on the earth and said, "No.  I don't.  Why don't you tell me how it is?" She just stared at me with such contempt and said, "You know what Landon?  I think you said it all yesterday and I know I have nothing to say to you."  She turned towards the window and ignored me.

I wanted to get up and go to the back of the bus, to sit by myself, but I kept hearing my mom's words in my head.  _'Then you're not trying hard enough…is she worth fighting for?'_  "Jamie?  Can't we talk about this?  Come on.  Please."  I tried flashing her that puppy dog grin again, but it only works when the person is looking at you and right now, I didn't exist to Jamie.  I reached my hand out and laid it on her arm, "Jamie please?"  She glared at it, then me.  I took it off and rode the rest of the trip in silence.

"Hey Luis.  What's up?"

I don't even know why I bothered coming back here every week.  This kid I was tutoring could care less about triangles and whether or not they were similar or isosceles and come on…is this really something we're gonna use in life?  But I had a job to do and I was determined to do it even though I was bad at it.  Besides, helping Luis was an important part of the reformation of Landon project I was currently working on.  I figured if I could teach this kid geometry than I could do just about anything.  The only problem was that this was my last week of tutoring, so today was my last shot.  

I went through some problems with him, trying to help him figure it out, "You know the answer?"  He just sat there with this look on his face, spinning his basketball around on the desktop.  "I know you don't."  I began looking around when it hit me…

"Okay it's you…me…and the basket, we form the three corners of a triangle." I waited until I thought he absorbed this information then said, "Now take a step towards the basket." I stepped with him, "now I'm at the same angle to the basket as I was before?"

"Yeah."

"Are you?"

"Yeah."

"So what did we just make?"

"Uh…A similar triangle?"

"YESSS!  Yes."  I couldn't believe it.  He got it right.  "Okay, make me an isosceles."  I watched him as he took a step out towards his side making the two sides of our triangle the same and basked in my glory!  I had done it.  I found a way to 'back in.'

On the way home I considered asking Jamie to sit with me on the bus, but I knew better, so I just sat in the seat she normally sat in and hoped.  She walked onto the bus with Gina and stopped when she got to the seat and looked at me.

"Why don't we sit in the back Jamie?" Asked Gina. 

"Actually," I spoke up, "I was kinda hopin' you'd sit with me Jamie."

She took a few seconds to think about it--that look of hatred she had bestowed upon me earlier was gone and it was replaced with one of curiosity.  Gina took a seat towards the back of the bus while Jamie stood there contemplating her decision.

"Please Jamie?  Sit with me?"

She took a breath and said, "I don't think that would be a very good idea."  

There was something different about her.  I knew she was still hurt, hey who could blame her?  But she didn't seem to hate me anymore.  It was more like a really strong dislike.

##

Church that Sunday was uneventful.  Jamie was singing with the choir, but she didn't have a solo and of course her father based his sermon on how evil Landon Carter was, and that I was Satan in disguise.  Well, it wasn't exactly that, but it was close.  It was about lies and betrayal.  He pretty much covered every sin I had committed in the past week and made a sermon out of it.  Afterwards I tried to talk to Jamie, but she completely ignored me.

"Landon, why don't you give her some time?"  My mom asked.

"Yeah, I suppose."  We walked to our car and I looked back at Jamie standing outside of the church talking to the choir director.  _'Time.'_  Funny thing that time--you spend eighteen years growing up in the same town as someone, eighteen years thinking you knew everything about that someone, then one day you realize you didn't know that person at all.  _'Time…yeah…I'll give her time.'_  We've waited eighteen years so what's a few more days?  _'Right now it feels like a lifetime, Landon.  A lifetime.'_

It was less than two weeks until the play so Miss. Garber scheduled a play rehearsal for that afternoon.  We had one the day prior, but she said that we still needed help with our blocking and some of us--mainly me--still hadn't mastered our lines.  The truth was, with the exception of yesterday at play practice I hadn't picked up my script since the incident with Jamie.  

When I got to the auditorium Sally walked up to me and said, "I knew it was a mistake for her to help you.  You know you didn't have to be such an ass Landon."  I just stood there and started looking around the room.  Everybody was glaring at me. Apparently everybody had heard what happened in the hallway on Friday.  "I knew you were a jerk the minute I saw you."

For the first time in my life I finally felt what it was like to walk in Jamie Sullivan's shoes.  

Jamie got there shortly after me and we just kind of glanced at each other.  There was no way I was gonna try and talk to her here, not after what just happened with Sally.  Miss. Garber told everyone to take their places and rehearsal began.  I spent the majority of my day listening to people say that I was either going to ruin the play because I couldn't learn my lines or what a complete jerk I was for what I did to Jamie.  

When Miss. Garber began showing Sally some of her blocking for the scene in which she dumps me, the one where Jamie shows up, I really felt abused.  Sally's character Caroline had to push me and call me a big dope, but Sally was just enjoying it a little too much, and I think Miss. Garber might have enjoyed it a little too.  By the time I got to the scene with just Jamie and me, I was beat…literally.  I had been practically physically and verbally abused today by just about everyone and I just couldn't take it anymore.  

Then Miss. Garber tried to teach Jamie her blocking for that scene.  Telling her she had to float across the stage, "Glide.  You need to be very sultry here Jamie."

'Jamie? Sultry?' 

"You need to exude your feminine appeal.  Roll your shoulders back and look over your shoulder like you can see right through this man.  His games don't fool you…"

_'Was she talking about the play or about me?'_  This was getting pretty frustrating.

She continued to show Jamie her steps for her song as I sat there watching.  Look, I know I said she had a sexy little mole on her cheek, and it is, but not in a sultry way.  More along the lines of an innocent…virginal kinda way.  Miss. Garber was barking up the wrong tree here with Jamie.  And I don't care how good of an actress she was, _'there was no way Jamie Sullivan was going to pull off being a sultry nightclub singer that exuded feminine appeal.'_

We just went back to our normal lives when it came to school.  We got together after school to rehearse--I didn't really hang out with the gang too much anymore--not enough time.  Well, that's what I told them anyway.  At night I would pace back and forth in my room making notes in the script, memorizing my lines and trying to keep Jamie out of my head.  It usually worked, except for when I went to sleep.  I began dreaming about her.  Not really dreaming, more like re-living moments with her in my sleep and no matter what moment we re-lived it always ended with me saying, "in your dreams."  _'Yeah…look at who's dreaming about who now Carter.'_

I would see her in history class everyday sitting up front with that damn Eddie Zimmerhoff and, _'God!  I really, really hated that guy!  You're jealous Landon.  What???  Of Eddie Zimmerhoff???  Yeah right.'_  But I was. I would've given anything to be where he was at that very moment.  I had no idea what was going on with me.  I knew I wanted Jamie to forgive me for what I had said, I even wanted to be her friend, but did I want something more?  _'Is it possible to even have something more than just friendship with her Landon?  And do you think she would want that with you?'  _There were a million questions racing through my mind as the object of my thoughts was walking right towards me.  

The hallway was packed.  Two months ago I would've never even noticed her walking in a crowd, now it's like I can feel her presence.  We barely looked at each other when we passed one another, but I had to turn back, just for a second to see if she was looking--she wasn't.  _'Dammit Landon.  Why did you ever have to ask her to help you with your lines?  Why did you ever have to hurt her?'_

Coming soon…

The final chapter:  Ch 8 - Opening Night 


	8. Opening Night

…And Then…I Kissed Her  
By: Jamie Sommers  
  
Email: jamiesommers23@hotmail.com  
  
Rated: P/G13 for language  
  
Synopsis: Landon Carter needs help with his lines and Jamie Sullivan has agreed to give him a hand on one condition…he has to promise not to fall in love with her.  
  
  
  
Chapter 8: Opening Night  
  
  
  
It was Friday. Tonight was opening night. We all had to get to the theater early because Miss. Garber wanted to go through a complete dress rehearsal, but I had to make a stop first.  
  
"I came to say I'm sorry." I had stopped off at the rehab center to visit Clay and to ask for his forgiveness. To beg if necessary.  
  
"You know I actually thought I wanted to be your friend, but now I have no idea why…no idea."   
  
_'Seems this has been happening a lot to you lately Carter.'_   
  
I tried talking to Clay for a little while, hoping that I could smooth things over between us, and when I left I felt pretty good at how we left it off. "So I'll see you at school?"  
  
_'Well Landon, this is a good sign. If you can get Clay Gephardt to smile at you, and you put him in the hospital, then you should be able to wear Jamie down…eventually…I hope…someday…yeah…right.' __  
_  
When I got to the auditorium everyone was already there except for Jamie. It turns out she had some kind of appointment she couldn't get out of this afternoon so Miss. Garber was gonna have to read her lines. We went through the dress rehearsal without a hitch. There were still a few things missing though, like Jamie and her song, but I guess we'd all have to wait until the actual performance to hear it. She had played it a few times on the piano here at school and I heard her rehearsing it a couple of times when I went to her house to run lines, but I never really bothered to listen to it. I was sure it would be great though; Jamie really did have a nice voice.  
  
"All right everyone! Places!" Miss. Garber was running around, clapping her hands together and telling everyone to get ready.   
  
I still hadn't seen Jamie so I finally worked up the nerve to ask, "Uh, Miss. Garber? Where's Jamie?"  
  
"Oh, she's here. She's doing her hair and makeup."  
  
"Oh…yeah…right."   
  
I could here the audience talking amongst themselves and the sound of paper rustling as people flipped through their programs. The lights dimmed and a hush came over the crowd. I walked to the center of the stage and took my place and when the curtains opened. _ 'Don't screw this up Carter.' _ The lights came up and something miraculous happened, I was no longer Landon Carter - rebel teen. I was Tom Thorton - rebel gangster. _'No wonder Miss. Garber wanted you in this role.' _  
  
Sally and I exchanged our lines the way we had rehearsed them as scene after scene went off the way Miss. Garber had intended it to. Then Jamie walked on stage wearing this black cloak. She was coming in from the rain and we were to have a few scenes with her still wearing it. Her identity was supposed to be 'mysterious' until our last scene together. It was a little weird talking back and forth with her, not being able to make out her face, but we did it and eventually we got to the end of the play.   
  
The nightclub was empty now and it was just Tom and Alicia…Jamie and me.  
  
"Look, I ain't blaming ya. I'm not asking for forgiveness either." That was Jamie's cue to finally take off her cape. "Just did what I had to do." I turned to her as she draped her cloak over the chair and I couldn't believe it. "When you walked…outta the rain and into my club…that wasn't just a coincidence was it?" I couldn't breathe. She was…wow. Her hair that always smelled of flowers, cascaded down her back and over her shoulders in flowing waves.  
  
"Nothing's coincidence."   
  
"Your face. You look so familiar…like this dame I knew once only it wasn't real. It was a dream."  
  
"Tell me about this dream girl."   
  
I began getting flashbacks of Jamie sitting on her porch swing just a few weeks ago saying that line to me and when I looked at her sitting across the table from me I was lost. "Well I don't remember…" for the life of me I couldn't seem to remember what my next line was. She had asked me about my dream girl and all I could think was, _'you're the only girl that's been invading my dreams lately.'_ I looked off stage, hoping that someone could help me out, but there was nothing anyone could do. It was up to me. I looked at Jamie then and said with every ounce of emotion I could muster up, what I had been dying to say to her for weeks now--I just didn't know it. "All I know…is that...you're beautiful." _ 'I mean it Jamie. From the bottom of my heart.'_  
  
The look on Jamie's face when I said that brought me out of my fog. I still couldn't remember my lines, _'Wait a minute...isn't Jamie supposed to say something here?'_ I had to get us out of this situation. Once again I looked off stage and saw Miss. Garber. She was mouthing, _'the song. The song.' _   
  
"The dream. Help me to remember. Will you sing for me?"   
  
The music started instantly and her voice chimed in immediately after that.  
  
"There's a song that's inside of my soul  
It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again  
I'm awake in the infinite cold  
But you sing to me over and over and over again"  
  
I was surprised at how crystal clear her voice was. It was like nothing I had ever heard before. It was flawless. She had lost all vestiges of nervousness and was back in character now, at least I think she was, but me? I was completely lost in Jamie's voice. I could easily spend the rest of my life just listening to her sing.  
  
"So I lay my head back down  
And I lift my hands and pray to be only yours  
I pray to be only yours   
I know now, you're my only hope"  
  
I had to snap out of this reverie I was in. I was being ridiculous. This wasn't the type of girl I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. Or was it? I was just so confused. I kept thinking about how good she made me feel, how much laughter we shared together. She was special...different. _'No Landon, you don't deserve someone like Jamie.'_ Oh, but I wished…  
  
"Sing to me the song of the stars  
Of your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again  
When it seems like my dreams are so far  
Sing to me of the plans that you hide from me over again"  
  
She sat down and began singing right to me again. I kept telling myself to get back into character, but I knew that pretending to be Tom Thorton was the furthest thing from my mind. I looked at her while she sang, watched as her soft, pink lips moved and began memorizing every curve of her face. The way her hair brushed her cheek. I needed to keep the memory of this night with me always.   
  
"So I lay my head back down  
And I lift hands and pray to be only yours   
I pray to be only yours  
I know now, you're my only hope"  
  
A million thoughts raced through my mind. _ 'Jamie, I'm sorry for everything I've done to hurt you. Jamie, I miss spending time with you. Jamie, please forgive me. Jamie, I need you. I need you.' _ I began thinking about our conversations together, _'My father doesn't hate you Landon…hate is a strong word…please don't swear around me…are you going to visit Clay Gephardt…they moved him to that rehab center…you've got to promise you won't fall in love with me…you won't fall in love with me…fall in love with me…'_   
  
"I give you my destiny  
I'm giving you all of me  
I want your everything  
Singing with all that I am  
At the top of my lungs   
I'm giving it back"  
  
As I listened to her sing, I was overwhelmed with the amount of emotions that were coursing through my system. The hairs on the back of my neck were standing up and I got this feeling throughout my entire body. Never in my whole life did I think that something like this would happen to me and I wondered over and over again, _'When the hell did this happen? How did this happen? No...there's no way...it couldn't be...I mean...Holy shit!!!' _ It hit me like a ton of bricks. I was in love with Jamie Sullivan and it scared the hell out of me.   
  
"So I lay my head back down  
And I lift my hands and pray to be only yours  
I pray to be only yours  
I pray to be only yours   
I know now you're my only hope."  
  
I watched her make her way back to her chair and I could feel this pulling force. I kept telling myself, _'don't do it Landon. Don't do it. But if you don't do it, you'll never know if this is real or not.' _  
  
"Mmmmm.   
Hmmmmmn  
Hmmmm  
Hmmmm hmmnnnn  
Oooooh oooh oooh   
Oooooh oooh oooh   
Oooooooooooooooh"  
  
I lifted myself off of my seat and leaned over the table…and then…I kissed her.  
  
  
  



	9. Chances

…And Then…I Kissed Her

By: Jamie Sommers

Email:  jamiesommers23@hotmail.com

Rated:  P/G 13 for language

Synopsis:  Landon Carter needs help with his lines for the school play and Jamie Sullivan has agreed to give him a hand on one condition…he has to promise not to fall in love with her.

Chapter 9:  Chances 

She looked beautiful.  Even out of costume she was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.  She was talking with her father and some of the people from the church choir that had come to see her.  _'Just go talk to her.  Yeah, not with her father there.  You're gonna have to face him sooner or later, you know?  I'd rather it be later.'_

"Hey, Landon."

"Oh…hey Belinda."  

_'Where'd she go?'_  My eyes started darting around the room of their own accord, searching for Jamie.

"Are you looking for someone?"

"Uh…yeah…my mom.  Seen her around?"  _'Quick thinking Landon.  Thank you.  I thought so myself.'_

"I saw her talking to some guy in the auditorium."

"Oh…who?"  _'Is that her?  Nope.  Damn!'_

"I don't know.  I didn't see his face."

"Hmmm…"  _'Did she leave?  She couldn't have left yet.  Oh, please be around here somewhere.'_

"Well, I just wanted to tell you that you were great."

"Yeah…thanks."  _'There!  There she is.  Pheeew.  That was a close one, Landon.  I was frightened for a minute there.'_

"…so I'll just wait…if that's okay with you?"

_'Wait for what?'_  "Uh, sure.  Do what you want."  '_She's heading for the door…hurry up before she gets out.'_  "Could you excuse me?"

"Man oh, man!  If it isn't Tom Thorton."  Eric and the gang had come backstage to give me some grief.  

_'Not now guys.  I'm kinda busy.'_

"Holy shit Landon!  You didn't suck."

_'Gee thanks.'_

"And the Virgin Mary…damn…"

_'Watch it, Dean.'_

"I told you, it's the quiet ones you gotta watch out for," Eric laughed.  "She was looking…"

_'Just tell them to shut up.  Tell them to stop talking about her like that.'_

"Look, guys…do me a favor and lay off Jamie.  She's really not that bad."

"Yeah…whatever.  So, you wanna go with us?" Dean invited.

_'No.  I wanna find Jamie and convince her to let me drive her home.  Maybe talk about that kiss.'_  "Uh, where you going?"

"Down by the railroad tracks."

"Nah.  I don't think so."  _'Oh, man.  Lost her again.  Where are you Jamie?'_

"Aww come on man.  You gotta come.  You've been ditchin' us for weeks now because of this stupid play."

"Yeah, well I still have one more night before this play is over so I'm gonna have to take a rain check, but thanks anyway."  

As we said our goodbye's I saw my mom walking up to me.  "Honey.  I couldn't believe it.  What a transformation."

"Thank you, but please stop it."  _'Please do **not** embarrass me by doing that MOM thing.'_

"Don't be home too late."

"Okay."  _'There she is! Found her again.  Now all you gotta do is go talk to…'_

"Interesting re-write you did out there tonight, Carter."

_'Oh for Christ sake!  Wait.  Jamie.  Don't leave.'_

"Look I did my best."

"And uh…your acting didn't suck too bad either."

'Gee.  This is a surprise.  Did Eddie Zimmerhoff just pay me a compliment?' 

"Well…gotta go."  

_'Thank goodness.'  _

"Take it easy man."

"Okay."

'Now to ask Jamie if…' 

"Landon.  You were marvelous."

'What is this shit?  A conspiracy??  Well I don't think so.'  "Thank you." 

'Sorry Miss. Garber, but I've got a leading lady to catch and there ain't nothing in this world that's gonna keep me from…'

"Landon?" 

'No way…there ain't no way in hell…'  

"Fine performance, son."

'Oh, great.  She's gone.  Thanks a lot dad.'

"What're you doing here?" 

"Your mother told me about it.  I thought maybe we could get a bite after the show."

"I'm not hungry."

"Landon.  Don't walk away."

"You taught me how."  

##

We had just finished our last performance and there were people gathered all around the back stage area.  There was a table set up with punch and cookies.  _'Quite the cast party we got going on here.  Didn't realized that people actually drank **punch** anymore.'_   Now this normally wouldn't have been my kind of seen--I just wanted to leave--but there was one thing stopping me…Jamie.  

She was standing there sipping from her glass and nibbling on a cookie_.  'Have you ever seen anything so beautiful?  She looks so sweet…dainty.  Oh Landon…you've got it bad.  No I don't.  Yes you do.  Why else would you be staring at Jamie Sullivan and using words like dainty to describe her?' _ All right.  I had a point.  I guess I did have it pretty bad.  She smiled at Megan and a chill shot straight down my spine_.  'Did I say **pretty** bad?  Talk about an understatement.'_

I stood by myself for a while talking to passers by as they gave me the occasional, _'congratulations, great job'_ and tried to keep my eyes off of her, but no matter how hard I tried, it was like my gaze was just drawn to her.  

'Talk to her Landon.  And say what?  Anything.  Great job with the play.  You sounded really good tonight.  You looked beautiful out there…so beautiful that I couldn't move when it was time for our kiss.  I was petrified.  I wanted to kiss you so badly, but I was afraid that you wouldn't think last night's was special and it was Jamie…it was.  I felt that kiss shoot straight to the tips of my toes.  Jamie, can you please forgive me?  I never meant to hurt you.  I was a fool.  An idio…'

"Landon?" 

_'GEEZ!!  You shouldn't sneak up on a guy like that.'_  "Uh…hey Miss. Garber."  

"I just wanted to tell you that I think you were the perfect choice for Tom Thorton.  No one else could've done that role as well as you.  I'm very proud of you."

"Thanks."

She must've noticed me staring at Jamie because she said,  "Why don't you talk to her?"

"Talk to who?"  _'Yeah, that's right Landon. Play stupid.'_

"Jamie," we both glanced at her then looked back at each other.  "Landon, she can't stay mad at you forever."

"Actually I think she can.  Or at least die trying," I chuckled at my little joke, but for some reason Miss. Garber just stared at me blankly.  _'Well I thought it was funny.'_

"Life's too short to play games, Landon.  If you have feelings for her, and I know you do, then you'll find a way to get through to her."

"Look Miss. Garber…" I was just about to deny the fact that I had 'feelings' for Jamie, but instead I found myself saying, "Is it that obvious?"

"Only to those that can see."

'Great…that's just great.'

"What's the worst that could happen?"

"She could turn her back on me and tell me to bug off."

"Well, from the looks of things she's been doing that for a few weeks now.  So I guess it can't get much worse, can it?" I felt her hand on my back as she gave me a little shove forward. "Go ahead." 

'So what're you going to say to her?  I have no clue.  Hey…here's a thought, how about I'm sorry?  Or better yet, I'm sorry and by the way…I'm in love with you.'

The minute I got within a foot of her I was completely flustered.  I just said the first thing that popped into my head.  "Hey."

"Hey."

"Pretty good punch, huh?" _'Oh yeah Landon, that'll sweep her off of her feet.'_

"I guess," she was about to turn around and leave.  _'Quick say something to stop her!'_

"I see your father made it again." 

"Mmmmm hmmmm.  I saw your mother, but didn't your father make it?" 

I was mesmerized as the bright pink tip of her tongue poked out of her mouth and licked the punch off of her lips.

"Nah."  _'Get it together Landon.'_  

"That's too bad." 

 "Yeah, well…I didn't really expect him to come back after last night."

"Why not?" _'Please Jamie, don't bring up my father.'_  

 "Let's just say he wasn't really welcome."  _'Probably not the right thing to say to her Landon, but at least it was the truth.'  _

She was awfully quiet until she said, "You know Landon…one day you're going to regret not letting him into your life."  

"Yeah…I don't think so.  Besides, he's the one that left me."

"Did he, Landon?  Or did he leave your mother?" 

**_'Excuse me??'_**  "It's the same thing."

"No it isn't.  It's two completely different things."

I couldn't believe this.  I wanted nothing more than to bury the hatchet between us and she brings up the one thing that can set me off, my father and his abandoning us.  "How can you say that?  He walked out on our family!"

"Do you even know what happened between your parents?"

_'Do I know??  Do I know???  Yeah I know.  One minute we're a family and the next we're not.  That's what I know.'_  "All I know is that he stopped loving us."

 "One day you just might see things from his point of view."

"Yeah, well I wouldn't go holding my breath if I were you."  

"All I'm saying Landon is that in time…"

"Save it Jamie.  Until you go through losing a parent…" It was out before I could even stop myself.  The realization of what I had said smacked me dead in the face.  "Jamie…I'm sorry.  I didn't mean…"

"Well, at least you have both of your parents Landon.  Some people aren't that lucky."  

I watched her as she left the theater and thought, _'Great Landon.  Just great.  I think you would've been better off with, I'm sorry and I'm in love with you.'_

"What did you say to her?  Landon?  Landon??"  

"What?"  I turned to see Megan standing next to me looking at me like I had just kicked her puppy.  She was obviously coming to Jamie's defense.

"What did you say to Jamie?"

"Nothing."

"And that's why she left so abruptly?"

"Look Megan…" I didn't know what to say.  I couldn't seem to blow her off like I had in the past, and I had…many times, but it was like something inside of me knew it was wrong to lie, so I told her the truth.  "I didn't think and I said something about her not understanding what it was like to lose a parent."

"Oh," her eyes averted mine as she looked down at her feet.

"Geez," I ran my hand through my hair.  "Why do I even bother?"

After a few seconds of scrutinizing me she said, "Because you're crazy about her."

I looked over at her and thought, _'Am I really that obvious?  Is Jamie the only person in this whole school that can't see it?'_

"You've been staring at her all night."

I sighed and laughed at the same time and said, "Pathetic aren't I?"

"No.  Sweet is more like it."

"Sweet?"  Ask anybody that knows me to describe me with just one adjective and I can guarantee that no one but my mom would use the word sweet.

"Yes, sweet.  But…you know you're going about this all wrong."

_'Okay…I'll bite.'_  "What'd you mean?"

"I mean the way you're trying to get Jamie to talk to you.  She's pretty upset with you.  We all are, but…well, truthfully I had intended on coming over here to give you a piece of my mind about the whole situation…"

"So what stopped you?"

"The look on your face whenever I say her name."

Just thinking about her makes me smile and I guess that wasn't as much of a secret as I had thought.

"You know Landon, I remember asking you to the Sadie Hawkins' dance in the 9th grade and you turned me down."

"Yeah," _'Shit.  She remembers me blowing her off.'_  "Sorry 'bout that."

"At the time I was so mad at you.  You were such an immature ass back then, but now… Landon, Jamie is a very special person.  She's different then most girls."

"I know that."

"Then stop going about this like you would with just any girl.  You have to be honest with her.  Tell her how you feel because Landon Carter AKA _immature ass_ isn't going to cut it but, the Landon Carter I see standing before me just might have a chance."

As I drove home I thought about what Megan had said.  _'Tell her how I feel. And then what?  Then…I don't know.  And when am I supposed to tell her?  Well Landon, there's no time like the present.' _ I turned my car around and headed to the cemetery.  Something inside of me knew she'd be there.  _'She has to be there.'_

I pulled in and walked to the spot where her telescope was set up in hopes that she would show.  After two hours of waiting I thought, _'this is crazy Landon.  It's after midnight for goodness sake.  She's not coming.' _ I left and hoped that I would still have the nerve to tell her what was in my heart at school on Monday.


	10. Why Me Lord?

…And Then…I Kissed Her

By: Jamie Sommers

Email:  jamiesommers23@hotmail.com

Rated:  P/G 13 for language

Synopsis:  Landon Carter needs help with his lines for the school play and Jamie Sullivan has agreed to give him a hand on one condition…he has to promise not to fall in love with her.

Chapter 10:  Why Me Lord? 

As I watched her singing in church, I remembered the morning after the incident with Clay.  My mom and I were sitting in our customary pew and Jamie stared at me during her solo as though she were trying to send me some kind of personal message. On that day I was consumed with an uncomfortable feelings caused by her scrutinizing gaze.   I wanted her to quit looking at me, but now…now I longed for her eyes to meet mine.  _'Look at me Jamie.  Please.  I just need to see your face.'_  Thoughts of her were occupying my mind and I didn't really hear the words to the song--that fateful song--until the choir began to sing softly and Jamie's voice began echoing through the church.

"Why me Lord?

What have I ever done 

To deserve even one 

Of the pleasures I've known.

Lord, what did I ever do 

To deserve loving You

And the kindness You've shown?"

"Lord help me Jesus

I've wasted it…

So help me Jesus

You know what I am.

And now that I know that 

I've needed you 

So help me Jesus

My soul's in Your hands."

"Jesus my soul's in Your hands."

She looked directly at me as she sang the last line and I had to close my eyes.  I just couldn't take it.  _'Be careful what you wish for, Landon.'_  

The choir sat down as Reverend Sullivan began his sermon, but there was no need for his lesson this morning.  After 18 years of going to church every Sunday, I **_finally_** got the message.  

It wasn't really a prayer, it was more like an acknowledgment.  I shifted my eyes towards the ceiling and began to speak. _ 'You up there?  Look God.  I've never been big on prayer, or belief, but there must be something to it.  Why would all these people come here every week if they didn't believe in You?  I know it's not just to torture their children, even though as a kid I was sure that's what my mom was doing.  I don't know yet if I believe as strongly as Jamie does, in fact I know I don't, but I'm thinking…You might actually exist.  I'd like to promise You that I'll be the perfect Christian from here on out, but we both know that just ain't gonna happen.  I can't promise that I won't fu...mess up every now and then, but I'll try real hard not to.  Guess that's all.  Thanks for listening.'_

As Reverend Sullivan continued with his sermon I noticed Jamie looking at me again, _'There's so much I want to tell you Jamie.  So much I need to say,' _but I don't think she realized she was staring at me because when I smiled at her, she kind of shook her head a little, like she was clearing it, then looked at her father again.  _'Tomorrow Landon.  At school tomorrow, you'll tell her.  It's time you made things right between you two.'_  I smiled with the knowledge of what was to come.  

I could feel someone's penetrating gaze burning through my skin and I knew it couldn't be Jamie--I was busy staring at her--so I turned my head and kind of looked around at the other people.  That's when I noticed her:  Belinda.  I gave her a nod of my head as if I was saying hello and she finally turned around.  _'This isn't going to be easy Landon.  If you want Jamie in your life, you're probably going to have to give up your friends you know that don't you?  Yeah…I know.'_  The thought didn't seem to bother me as much as it did a few weeks ago.  At this point all I knew was that there was a void inside of me and the only person that could fill it was sitting with the choir right now.  _'You're gonna miss Eric.  Nah…Eric would never ditch me because of Jamie.  We've known each other our whole lives.  If there's one person I know I can count on…that's Eric.'_

##

_'Come on Landon…just go to sleep.  It's easy, just close your eyes and clear your mind………..Dammit! This is useless.'_  I picked up my alarm clock and noticed it was just after 4:00am.  _'Just a few more hours until your alarm goes off.  Just a few more hours.  Now close your eyes…good…erase all thoughts from your head…come on…just think of a blank page.  Blank page…. blank page…white page with thin blue stripes going across it…no, just plain white, like Jamie's choir robe.  She looked so beautiful in it while she was singing and her voice….argh!  I said CLEAR your mind!!' _ Trying to sleep was driving me crazy so instead I concentrated on Jamie—planned out what I was going to say to her when I saw her_.  'Jamie, how are you?  Hi Jamie.  You look nice today.  No.  Stupid.  That's stupid.  Okay…hey Jamie, I'm in love with you and I was thinking…wanna go out with me this weekend?  Yeah. Like she'll say yes to that.  Fine…how about this one.  Jamie.  I was wondering…would you like to go to a movie with me…no…not a movie…dinner…dinner would be better.  Okay…would you like to go to dinner with me?  When?  Friday or Saturday?  Saturday.  Definitely Saturday.  Then I'll get to see her six days this week instead of five days.  Yeah, but what if she says no?  Maybe I'm pushing my luck with asking her out right away.  Maybe I should just try to be friends with her first then ask her out.  Okay… I won't ask her out tomorrow, but I will tell her that I miss her.  I really miss her.  And make sure you look good tomorrow.  Maybe I'll wear that blue shirt, or that tan colored one with my khakis.  Whatever you wear, make sure it's not wrinkled.  You'll want to look like you cared enough about her to dress nicely.  Right.  So it's settled then.  Tell her you miss her and take it from there.'_  I rolled over and looked at my clock again, _'4:39am.  Should I even bother trying to sleep now?'_  

"LANDON!!!"

"Shit!  SHIT!!"  _'Why is it whenever I need to get out of here on time, I oversleep?'_  

"You better hurry up.  You're going to be late!"

"I know.  I know.  Hey, mama?  Can you do me a favor?"

"What is it?"

"Can you iron a shirt for me while I jump in the shower?"

She looked at the clock on the wall and then back at me, "Please mom?"

"Okay…where is it?"

"Thanks!"  _'This is great.  I just might make it on time and not wrinkled.'_

I ran around the house getting my stuff together and ran to my car with a piece of toast hanging out of my mouth and the shirt my mom ironed hanging off of my fingers.  It was kind of chilly out this morning and I didn't want to wear it under my vest and wrinkle it so I figured I'd just put it on at school_.  'Good thinking Landon.  Yeah…I'm on the ball today.  Shit…I'm gonna be late.'_

##

I got to my locker just as the first bell rang so I didn't have time to do anything, but get my books and race to class.  _'She's not in your first period with you anyway.  Yeah, but she is in second period with you.  Second period.  Can you wait that long Landon?'_  It was hard, but I did it.  When the bell rang I practically ran to science class.  I couldn't wait to see her.  _'All right so you're the first one in class, that's no big deal.'_  I sat at my desk and watched as person after person entered the classroom.  None of them Jamie. _ 'Where are you?'_

Morning break took forever.  It was the longest ten minutes of my life, and then there was the longest fifty minutes of my life during history class.  She wasn't there either.  _'Face it Landon, she's probably out sick or something.' _ As the bell rang I stood up and got my stuff together trying not to sulk.  _'Well, there's always tomorrow.  Yeah…tomorrow.' _ This sulking thing seemed to be dead set on happening so who was I to argue.  It was then that I heard her laugh.  I looked up just as Belinda and Eric rounded the corner.  She was talking with Eddie Zimmerhoff_.  'That guy just rubs me the wrong way.  You're just jealous Landon.  No I'm not.  Yes, buddy.  You are.'_  

I wasn't sure what class she had next I tried to remember but I just had no clue.  I saw her walking away from Eddie and I wondered if he knew.  "Uh, I'll be right back guys.  I just gotta ask Eddie something."  I left the hallway and chased him down.  

"Hey, Eddie."  

"Uh, hey Landon."

"You haven't…uh…well you wouldn't know what class Jamie has next would you?"

"No.  Sorry man."

"That's okay."  _'Dammit.  Now what?  Think Landon, think.' _ I did a mental check of which classes we had together and which classes I knew she had at what time.  _'Science was with me, history, drama is the last class of the day, English lit…we had that together.' _By the time I was done going through the mental checklist I came up with either gym, physch or trig.  I went to gym first and watched as the girl's class took their place on the field.  _'Nope.  Not there.'_  Then it dawned on me.  She said that she sometimes goes to study hall instead of gym.  I went into the library and checked in with the teacher seeing as that's where I was supposed to be anyway.  I walked through the entire thing looking desperately for her, searching the crowd for her innocent smile, but she wasn't there.  _'Where are you Jamie?'_  I walked to physch, then to trig both places turning up negative results.  _'Well it's looking like you'll just have to wait until lunch Landon.'_  I walked back into study hall and sat at a table and just stared at the clock, counting the minutes until the lunch bell rang.  My stomach was in knots when it rang.  _'This is it._'  I headed out the door of the library and felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Hey.  Where were you in there?  Belinda and I were trying to get your attention the entire time?"

"Oh, hey Trace.  Sorry about that.  I didn't really sleep last night."

"Landon, where are you going?" Belinda asked.  "The lunch room is this way," she pointed down the hall in the opposite direction that I was going.

"Yeah…you guys go ahead.  I've got to go to my locker first."

_'You're stalling Landon.  Yeah, I know.'  _When I got to my locker I dropped my books off and took off the long sleeve shirt I had on and replaced it with the shirt my mother ironed for me earlier that morning.  _'Button it.  No.  that looks stupid.  Unbutton it.  Okay.  Lets go.'_  

"Hey man.  What's up?"

"Hey Eric."

"You wanna grab something to eat?"

"Nah.  I'm not really hungry today."  I didn't really want them to be in the lunchroom today.  I needed to talk to Jamie alone, without any interruptions from any of them.

We stood by the lockers for a while and eventually Belinda and Tracy joined us.  They stood there making fun of everyone that passed by.  Eric kept making lewd comments about all the girls that passed, and Dean…well… Dean was being Dean.  I looked around at them and wondered if I was ever as bad as them, knowing deep down inside that I was worse.  _'Time to make a change Landon.' _

"Hey guys.  I gotta go."

"Where you going?"  

_'To change my life for the better.'_

I chose to ignore Dean's question and said, "See ya later."  I walked down the hall and felt the beat of my heart increase within my chest with every step I took towards the lunchroom, towards lunch table seven, towards Jamie.  


	11. Forgive And Forget

…And Then…I Kissed Her

By: Jamie Sommers

Email:  jamiesommers23@hotmail.com

Rated:  P/G 13 for language

Synopsis:  Landon Carter needs help with his lines for the school play and Jamie Sullivan has agreed to give him a hand on one condition…he has to promise not to fall in love with her.

Chapter 11: Forgive and Forget 

_'Just be confident Landon.  You can do this.  You have to do this.'_  I walked right up to her table without a care in the world.  _'That's it.  Just stay cool.'_

"People can see…" 

"And that would ruin your reputation how?" _'Okay…you're not gonna make any points by pulling the immature ass routine so lets just try being yourself.' _ "What's that?"  She turned her book towards me enabling me to read the title, but her eyes never left the pages_.   'Come on Jamie.  Look at me.  Talk to me.'_

"I'm reading all the books on Mr. Rothman's list of contemporary American authors."

_'Good…you've got her talking.  Just keep working this book angle.'  _"And how many books are there?"

"A hundred, but then there's his British list and his European list."

"So is this all on your list?  To read all these books?"  _'You're doing good Landon; you've just got to keep her talking.   Okay…slurping her drink is NOT talking.  Now what?  Tell her the truth Landon.  Quit screwing around and just tell her.'_

"Jamie…I'm trying here okay.  Maybe I miss spending time with you.  Maybe you inspire me."  _'There ya go.  You did it.'_

"Sounds like bull!"

_'BULL????'_  "Which part??" 

"All of it."

"Well it's not!"

"Prove it."  

I couldn't believe my luck.  I finally get up enough courage to tell her how I feel and she throws it back in my face_.  'NO!  You cannot let her leave like this!  DAMMIT JAMIE!!!!'_   "Jamie!!  Jamie!!"  I ran after her.  I had, had enough.  I was tired of us tiptoeing around one another, tired of pretending that I didn't have feelings for her.

"You don't know the first thing about being someone's friend!" She yelled back at me while she was racing to her car.

"I don't wanna just be your friend."

"You don't know what you want."

"Neither do you.  Maybe you're just too scared that somone'll wanna be with you?"

"And why would that scare me?"  She stopped and faced me.

"Because then you wouldn't be able to hide behind your books or…uh…uh…uh your frickin' telescope or your faith."  _'Where the hell do you think you're going?  You're not going anywhere.'_  I reached out my hand and stopped her from leaving.  That's when it dawned on me.  "No.  No.  You know the real reason why you're scared?  Because you wanna be with me too."  _'That's it isn't it Jamie?  I'm not alone here.  You want this just as badly as I do, don't you?' _ 

She stared at me as though I had just hit a nerve then walked off to her car.  _'Go after her Landon.  No.  No.  She needs some time.'_  As I watched her pull her car away from the curb I could feel my heart aching.  _'Landon…what has this girl done to you?'_

##

I paced around my house for a while, trying to get my mind off of this afternoon, but I couldn't.  Jamie was always on my mind, no matter where I went or what I did.  She was always there.  I threw on my long sleeve shirt and vest and headed out to my car.  _'Might as well do something productive Landon.  That thing can't stay messed up forever.' _ I had been working on it for a few minutes when I heard Eric's car pull up.

"Hey man.  What the hell are you doing here??"

"I had to get out of the house.  My old lady was on a rampage.  'Eric clean your room, Eric, take out the trash, walk the dog.'  Man…what the hell?  Is it a requirement for mothers to nag?"

I laughed and suddenly felt grateful for Eric's company.  He was just what I needed to keep her off of my mind.

"So you're finally fixing your car huh?"

"Yep," I turned back to it and began working on it again.

" 'bout damn time.  I was getting tired seeing your mom's.  No offense Landon, but wood panels?  Damn…your mom's cool and all, but we have got to work on her taste in vehicles."

_'Yup,'_ I laughed, _'Eric's exactly what I needed today.'_  

"So…you got something to drink?" He asked.

"Yeah…in the fridge there should be something.  Go ahead and grab what you want."

"You need anything?"

"Nah I'm good man."  _'I'm great.  This is perfect.  Just me and Eric doing the male bonding thing over my car.  Perfect.  Just perfect.  Absolutely…Jamie, what the hell did I do today?  I should've gone after you.  I should've chased you and made you understand how I feel.  I know you feel it too.  How can you not?  I know I'm not in this all by myself.  I can't be.  There's just no way that I could be wrong here.  You want to be with me too.  I can feel it.  The moment you looked at me today, I could feel it.  I could see it on your fac…'_

"Aww yeah.  We gonna get this party up here jumpin' real right.  Come on."

_'When did you get back?  Can you shut off the music?  I'm trying to think right now.'_  "Can we turn down Soul Train just a bit there?  Some people are actually trying to work."  _'Yeah…that's what you're doing Landon.  Working.'_

"You really know how to bust a robot's groove up in here man, but it's all good, cuz you know what…We're gonna get club Landon – club Eric really jumpin' up in here.  What we got here?"

He had chosen the cd that Jamie loaned to me weeks ago.  _'I had forgotten I still had that.'_

"Oh…Oh…oh whoa.  Okay.  Okay, you're not feeling my hip hop, but…umm…what the hell is this man?"

"Jamie lent it to me."

"Mmmm. Now she's got you listening to her people's music."

"Okay…Her People??"  _'What the hell is that supposed to mean?_'

"Uh huh.  Bible hugging, crucifix wearing, honk if you love Jesus people."

I knew he was trying to be funny, but this was Jamie he was joking about and I kinda felt…protective of her.  "She's not like that."  I just wished he would give her a chance.

"Well….uh…you know you got uh…Belinda thinking that, that little lip action between you and Jamie was kinda real?"

He was fishing for information.  I knew it, yet…I couldn't deny it.  It was real.  So damn real.

"What's with you man?  It's like you don't even have time for your real friends anymore?"

_'Just tell him Landon.'_  "I don't know buddy.  I'm just over it.  Sick and tired of doing the same old shit all the time."

"This girl's changed you and you don't even know it."

"Let me guess…Belinda say that too?"  _'She's always got something positive to say doesn't she?'_

"No…I did."

I just looked at him like I was dumbfounded.  Was I really that transparent?  Everyone seemed to see right through me lately.  Miss Garber, Belinda, Megan… _'Geez Landon.  Don't ever take up poker.'_  "Look man, I haven't changed…well, maybe I have, but Eric…we can't keep doing the same shit our whole lives.  At some point we have to grow up you know."

"Yeah I know, it's just that…"

"What?" 

"I guess I..."  He looked at me and smiled saying, "Damn…You're Landon Carter!  You're never supposed to grow up.  What the hell happened??"

We laughed a little, just trying to break the tension, but both of us knew that things would never be the same again.

##

"Landon?  Could you do me a favor?"

"Sure mom."  I was just sitting on the couch reading_.  'This Mr. Rothman picked out some pretty good books.  To Kill a Mockingbird was actually pretty entertaining.' _

"Oh…well, if you're doing homework that's okay."

"No.  This isn't homework.  It's just…" I started to trail off.  

"You mean you're reading just because?"

I grinned at her and said, "Yeah."

"Well," she put her hand on my forehead, "you don't feel like you've got a fever."  

We both just laughed a bit. I guess it was kinda odd, me sitting on the couch reading.  In the past my idea of a good time included beer, loud music, fast cars and every now and then a fast girl too.  I guess times have changed.  I guess I've changed.  "So what did you need, mama?"

"I was just wondering if you would pick up my dry cleaning for me?  I meant to stop by on the way home, but I just forgot."

"Sure.  No problem."

"Thanks sweetheart.  I'll finish up dinner while you're gone."

"Sounds good."

##

I stood staring at the window of the clothing store with my mom's dry cleaning hanging off of my finger.  It was just staring at me, like I was supposed to buy it.  _'Don't do it man.  You have no clue how she'll react to this.  She may just tell you to shove it.' _ I started to chuckle at the thought of Jamie using those words.  _'Okay…so she won't tell you to shove it, but she could tell you to keep it.  Yeah…or she could just say thank you in that really sweet way.'_

Walking to my car the inner debate continued.  Do I buy it or don't I and if I did buy it would I have enough guts to give it to her_.  'Forget it Landon.  Just forget it.  You'd have to get to the bank before they close in,'_ I looked at my watch and freaked out.  "SHIT.  They close in ten minutes!"  I threw my mom's clothes in the back of the car and hauled ass to the bank making it there with about nine minutes to spare.  

'Okay…so you've got the money.  You're in the store.  The sweater is in your hand.  So go and buy it.  I am…I will…I think…maybe…'

"Can I help you with something?" 

"Uh," I jumped at the sound of the attendants voice and shoved the sweater in her hand. "Yes.  I want to buy this."

##

I looked at the bag sitting on my dresser and wondered what the hell I was gonna do with it.  Would I really have enough guts to give it to her?  _'I should've gotten it gift-wrapped.  You don't give a girl a present in a sack.  Just go and give it to her.  What if she turns me away again?  She didn't today at school.  She smiled at you and waved at you too.  Yeah…I suppose she did, but I was the one that said hi first.'_  I looked down at the path I was wearing into the floor of my bedroom and grabbed the bag before I could change my mind.  _'Go for it Landon.'_

I parked my car and got out, my stomach was so jittery I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to keep my composure.  I was nervous…petrified and then I saw her.  She was just sitting there reading and all my fears were gone.  They just melted away.  Suddenly I wasn't afraid anymore.  I knew deep within my heart that we would get through this, we would work past this and we would be together.  My friends, their attitudes, her friends…none of it mattered to me.  The only thing that mattered was Jamie.

"You."  

"Me." 

I held out the bag towards her but she just looked at it funny and said,  "What is it?"

"I got you something."  Holding the bag out in front of me again, I waited patiently until she finally grabbed a hold of it.

"Thank you."  

There it was.  That sweet voice, that innocent smile…Jamie.  _'I've missed you.'_  "Well…I'll see ya at school."  _'Things are better now, right Jamie?'_

" 'kay."  

My heart jumped within my chest, it didn't even faze me when her father came out and said, "Mr. Carter."  In the past this would've startled the living hell out of me, but tonight…well…

"Later reverend."  I practically skipped down those stairs, glancing back over my shoulder to see her face between the bushes, to see her smile.  She liked it.  _'You did good Landon.  It's about time.'_


	12. Animal Instincts

…And Then…I Kissed Her

By: Jamie Sommers

Email:  jamiesommers23@hotmail.com

Rated:  P/G 13 for language

Synopsis:  Landon Carter needs help with his lines for the school play and Jamie Sullivan has agreed to give him a hand on one condition…he has to promise not to fall in love with her.

Chapter 12:  Animal Instincts 

My eyes opened before the alarm went off.  I sat up in bed and…smiled.  I was happy.  Down right giddy.  I had this feeling like nothing could get me down.  'She liked the sweater.  You're gonna see her today.  This, Landon, could be one of the best days of your life.' 

"Gooooood Morning!" I walked into the kitchen and kissed my mom on the cheek.  "Beautiful day isn't it?"  Picking up an apple from the fruit basket, I tossed it into the air, threw my bag over my shoulder and headed off to school, leaving my mom staring in disbelief at my back.  I could hear her breath catch and her slight giggle as I strode out of the house.  "Yep.  Beautiful day!"

##

"Hey guys!"  I walked up to my locker and tossed my books in, "What's up?"  I wasn't really waiting around for an answer, I kinda wanted to see if I could catch Jamie at her locker before classes started.  Before any of the gang could answer I grabbed what supplies I needed, shoved them in my bag and said, "well I'm outta here. Later."  The entire thing took me less than thirty seconds from start to finish.  

I could hear them talking amongst themselves as I walked away, "what the hell…what's up with him…" but I didn't care.  I had bigger and better things to do today.  Today was the day I asked her.  Today was the day I took a chance.  Today was the day…  'There she is.  Jamie.'  

I stopped in the hallway mesmerized by her.  For years I secretly thought she was pretty, not gorgeous in a model kinda way, but…pretty.  Pretty in that, no make-up, natural look kinda way.  But now…now I knew she was more than that, she was by far the most beautiful woman I had ever seen…I'd ever known.

I watched dejectedly as Eddie walked up to her. She greeted him with a genuine smile.  The smile I was hoping I'd get, and they left her locker walking side by side.    'Eddie Zimmerhoff…what the hell do you have that I don't.  Sheesh…you know…I really want to hate him, but…face it Landon; he's a nice guy.  She could do worse.  Yeah…she could say yes to you.'

##

Guess I was kind of out of things today…preoccupied.  Usually I was the one that knew what was going down.  What pranks were being played and on whom.  Usually because I was the one playing them, but today…like I said I was kind of out of it.  When I got to study hall I noticed Dean and the gang hovering over a computer.  Dean was pointing to something on the screen—I couldn't make it out—when I heard the teacher call me into his office. 

"Mr. Carter.  Principal Kelly would like to see you."

"Oh…sure," I took the pass he handed me and made my way out of the library, quickly glancing back over my shoulder at my friends, then headed to the principal's office.  'Well…wonder what this is about.  It's not like you've done anything wrong lately.  Maybe that's the problem.  Maybe he's thinking you're being too good.  Yeah, like that would ever happen.'

"Can I help you?"

"Yes…um Principal Kelly wants to see me.  Landon Carter."

"Yes Landon, I know who you are," the secretary said with a raised eyebrow.  "Take a seat.  I'll let him know you're here."

##

"Landon."

"Principal Kelly."

"How's it going?"

"Fine sir."  I looked at him and asked him, "Did I do something wrong sir?  Is that why I'm here?"

"No Landon.  On the contrary…I haven't gotten any complaints about you at all lately.  Which is why you're here."  He stood up and walked around his desk, sitting on the edge of it and looked down at me.  "Landon…I'm just wondering…what are your plans for after high school?"

"Plans?"

"Yes.  Plans.  You know…college…career."

"Oh," I chuckled to myself.  "Uh…well…I was kind of thinking about going to college."

"Any particular school?"

"Uh…yeah…UNC."

"UNC huh?  That's a tough school to get into." 

"Yeah I know."

"What're you planning on studying?"

"I was actually thinking about…" I looked to the side and then looked back at him.  "What's this all about Mr. Kelly?  Why the sudden interest in my future?"

"It's my job to make sure you succeed Landon," he winked at me and sat behind his desk.  "You know…I've got a friend on the board over there…"

##

I was walking down the hall, still in shock from Principal Kelly's offer to help me with my college application to UNC.  'Guess he's not that bad of a guy after all.'

"Hey man!  What's the big idea??" I felt Eddie Zimmerhoff grab my shoulder and spin me around to face him.

"Whoa!  What the hell do you think you're doing man?"

"What is this Landon??  Why'd you do it?  She was nothing but nice to you…all she ever did was…"

I looked down at the flyer Eddie had shoved in my hand.  It was a picture of a well-endowed woman in a miniscule bikini.  She was standing with her back to the camera; her hand was placed on her jutted hip enabling the viewer to see her exposed body parts.  Her hair was long, dark and straight and her face…  'Jamie.'  I closed my eyes trying to control my temper.  "Where'd you get this?"

"As if you didn't know."

"DAMMIT EDDIE!!!  Where the hell did you get this?"

"You mean you really don't know?"

I just looked at him.

"Your friends are handing 'em out all over the school.  Everybody's got one Landon."

"Has Jamie seen this yet?"

"I don't know."

"Do you know where she is?"

"I'm not sure…"

My mind flashed back to that very first day we rode back on the bus together after tutoring.

'Please don't pretend like you know me, okay?'

'But I do…I do.  We have all the same classes in the same school since kindergarten.  Why you're Jamie Sullivan. You sit at lunch table seven…'

I didn't run, 'no…walk Landon…pace yourself.  Maybe it wasn't them.  They're not this cruel.  Maybe she hasn't seen it.'  But I knew, deep inside I knew.  This had Dean and Belinda written all over it.

'Please God; don't let her see this yet.  Please let me get to her before they do.'  I rounded the corner and walked into the lunchroom in hopes that my prayers would be answered and Jamie ran straight into my arms.

"Whoa," I could feel her quacking beneath my hands.  I had to put her mind at ease.  'Take care of this Landon.'   "Look.  This is about me okay, this is not you."  

She nodded her understanding at me and I told her, "Stay here."  I dropped my bag to the ground and walked towards Belinda grabbing the flyer from her hand without even looking at her or that disgusting picture.

'Dean, you son of a bitch.  You think you're so damn funny.  Well you've crossed the line this time.  You want to hurt me, then hurt me…but don't take it out on Jamie.'

"Hey man.  Now I know why you've been keepin' her locked up.  I had no idea that this was underneath all that," he gestured towards Jamie and I just reacted.  I shoved him then he shoved me.  I just wanted him to take a swing at me.  No…I wanted to take a swing at him.

"Dean stop it!"

"No," he pointed his finger in Tracy's face and said, "you stay out of this."

I had, had enough of his bullying.  His manhandling.  I've seen the way he treats Tracy, practically like dirt and no one ever stood up to him.  Well now…now someone was standing up to him and he picked the wrong guy to mess with.  My hand pulled back and all of this pent up frustration just released itself in my punch.  I felt his head snap beneath my fist and this rush of adrenaline just pumped through me.  Regret, revenge, remorse all raged throughout my system.  I stood there just looking at him, daring him to bring it on.  'I'm ready for you Dean.  Don't think I can't take you because I can.  I can.'

As he was walking over to me someone tried to stop him, but Dean just pushed him out of the way and said to me, "We're through."

"That's great." 'You make me sick Dean.  All of you.'

"We are through forever!"

I didn't care.  I could live the rest of my life without that son of a bitch and not regret a day, but right now…right now I had to take care of Jamie.

I couldn't help but cradle her face in my hands.  I had to wipe her tears away with my thumbs.  Dean was screaming out in the background but I really didn't give a shit.  

"You alright."

She couldn't even talk.  She just nodded her head at me.  

"Let's get the hell out of here."

I grabbed our things and took her out of the building.  I could feel her body shaking; her tears were just streaming down her cheeks.  'Jamie I'm sorry.  Christ!  Why'd they do that to you?'

"Baby, baby.  I'm sorry.  Okay?  They're animals alright?"  I needed to touch her, to try and comfort her.  My body just seemed to take over where my mind left off.  My hands stroked her hair as I asked her,  "you want me to take you home?"

Still unable to reply she just nodded again.

"Let's get outta here."  I put my arms around her and walked her to my car.  I wasn't sure what to do about hers, but right now I just needed to get her home.  

I wasn't sure if her father would be there or not and she was in no condition to talk to him at the moment so I drove as slowly as I legally could.  Visions of that flyer were burning in my mind, thoughts of my childhood…my friends.  People I trusted my whole life; they just turned on me in an instant.  'Belinda.  I've known you since we were kids.  I trusted you.  Dean…Dean…I've always known you were an asshole, but I never knew how malcontent you were.  Tracy…the follower.  Whatever they do, you tag right along and Eric.  Eric, my buddy.  My best friend.  Some friend you turned out to be.  Kindergarten.  I've known you since kindergarten man.  The one person I thought I could count on…  Well I guess you know now don't you Landon.  The only person you've been able to count on lately is the one person you wound up getting hurt.'

The drive back to her house took longer than usual.  I wanted to give her time to settle her nerves.  When I could no longer avoid her block I pulled up to her curb and thanked God I didn't see her father's car.  We just sat there for a few minutes staring straight ahead out the car window.  I turned off the ignition and turned towards her.  Our eyes were locked instantly.  There was so much hurt…so much pain.  I could never forgive myself for letting them get the best of her, but I vowed that no one would ever hurt her again. 'I'll never let anything hurt you Jamie.  I swear it.'  I smiled at her; I just needed to make sure she was all right.  "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Mmmm hmmm.  I'm fine, but thank you for everything," she smiled back.

"No…you're welcome." 

'She's leaving.  Quick stop her!'

"Hey…ummm…I wanna ask you something."  'Okay…maybe this isn't the right time.  Just do it Landon.'

"Okay," she sat back and listened.

'I'm nervous.  Nervous?  Try petrified.  What if she says no?  Yes Landon, but what if she says yes.'  The thought brought a anxious smile to my lips.  "Will you go…out with me…on Saturday night?"

'Please don't say no.  Please don't say no.' I watched her face change right before my eyes and listened as my worst fears came true.  'Oh God, she's gonna say no.'

"I'm sorry…I can't go."  

"Oh…um…" I couldn't look at her, "…you've got something else going on?"

"No…nothing.  Not that." 

"Then what is it?"  A million excuses ran through my mind, 'is it because of what happened today?  Eddie Zimmerhoff?  It can't still be because of the lockers.'  Her answer…well…it's not what I expected.

"I'm not allowed to date."

"Oh."

"I'm sorry Landon."

"No…no…it's okay.  I should've known…I mean if you were allowed to date then you probably would've been going out with Eddie or something…"  'Subtle Landon.  Real smooth.'

"No.  No.  Eddie and I we're just friends.  Nothing more."  She smiled at me like she was trying to convince me that she was telling the truth.  "I suppose I should be going…"

"Yeah…sure."  'She's leaving Landon.  Say something to stop her.'  "Uh…Jamie?"

"Yes," she whispered.

"I…uh…well…" I wanted desperately to know if she would have said yes.  If she were allowed to date… would she have said yes?  "Nothing," I cleared my throat.  "It was nothing."

"Okay."  I watched her get out of my car and called myself a chicken for backing down.  "Thanks again Landon…for everything."

"Wait."  'This is your last chance Landon.'  "I'll walk you to your door."  

I wondered if she was thinking the same thing I was.  About the last time I was at her house.  I had walked up this path that day knowing that I had just screwed up one of the best things that had ever happened to me.  Today though, I walked up the path with new hope, yet I couldn't help but wonder if something inside of her was still upset about that day.  "You know what I was thinking?"

She shook her head, 'no.'

"I was just thinking about the last time I was here," I began to do that nervous foot shuffle and tilted my head up just a bit to look at her.  "You weren't too happy with me that day."

"No I wasn't," she smiled at me and it wasn't just one of her polite Jamie Sullivan smiles this was that smile that I had hoped for.  This was better than the one she had bestowed on Eddie earlier.  This one was for me.

We both started speaking at the same time.

"Look Jamie…I'm…"

"Landon…I…"

We both just started to laugh a little then I offered, "You first."

"I just wanted to say that…" she looked down at her feet before speaking again, "If I **_were_** allowed to date…" then she lifted her eyes to mine and I could feel every hair on my body stand at attention.  "I would've loved to go out with you on Saturday night."  

'I love you Jamie.'  I wanted to say it.  I wanted to tell her that this wasn't just a passing thing for me, that I was falling…no not falling.  That I had fallen completely and totally in love with her.  I took a chance and stepped towards her hoping that she wouldn't pull away.  She didn't.  I reached out my hand to hers and wrapped her fingers through mine.  I smiled as I looked down at our hands.  I didn't even know whose fingers were whose.  "Jamie," I said softly as I took yet another step closer to her.  My breath was getting hotter, my heart beating faster.  I could practically feel her lips against mine.  

"Jamie??  What's going on here?"  

'Shit!  Shit! SHIT!!!'

"Mr. Carter?  Why aren't you two in school?  What's going on…"

"Daddy.  Wait…I can explain."

"Well you had better explain."

"Sir it's not Jamie's fault…it's my…"

"No Landon.  It wasn't your fault," she interrupted.

"Well somebody better tell me what's going on here."

I wasn't sure what to do.  Should I stay or should I go?

"Maybe you should go?"

"Are you sure?"  I didn't want to just leave her here to explain what had happened.  I wanted to help her, but she didn't need my help when it came to her father.  I needed hers.

"Yes.  I'm sure." 

"I'll see you tomorrow?" 'You'll be back right Jamie?  You're not gonna let them win, are you?'

"Yes."

I couldn't help but admire her spirit, her strength.   "Tomorrow…I'll see you tomorrow."  I gave her father a quick nod of my head and said "Reverend," as I bolted down the stairs.  'Landon, you've got a school to clean up by tomorrow.'


	13. Faith, Hope and Charity

…And Then…I Kissed Her

By: Jamie Sommers

Email:  jamiesommers23@hotmail.com

Rated:  P/G 13 for language

Synopsis:  Landon Carter needs help with his lines for the school play and Jamie Sullivan has agreed to give him a hand on one condition…he has to promise not to fall in love with her.

Chapter 13:  Faith, Hope And Charity 

As I pulled my car up to the school's parking lot feelings of apprehension filled me. Do I forgive and forget? _'No. No way. These people don't deserve to be forgiven and God knows I'll never forget what they did to Jamie. So what do you do Landon?'_

I found myself sitting in Principal Kelly's office for the second time that day, only this time I went there on my own.  I looked around the room noticing things I hadn't noticed earlier in the day.  His calendar was set on the wrong date, pictures of his family, but I didn't notice any pictures of a wife or kids.  

"Landon."  From the look on his face I could tell he knew why I was here.

"Principal Kelly listen…" I looked him directly in the eyes and said, "I need your help."  

##

"Miss. Garber?"

"Well hello Landon.  What brings you here?"

"This," I pulled out the picture and began making my plea.  "Miss. Garber I was wondering since you really don't have much you're doing in class now that the play is over…well…"  'This, Landon my man would be the perfect time for that puppy dog grin.'  I flashed her my crooked smile that worked so wonderfully on women and asked her, "I don't suppose you'd consider spending class time on a little campus restoration project I was working on?"

##

I looked at the group of people that had gathered across the campus in their joint efforts to rid the school of the paraphernalia that my so-called friends had created, in complete awe.  Not just the janitorial staff, but faculty and students as well.  Teachers that were free this period and would normally work on grading papers or what not were working side by side picking up the trash that had littered the campus.  The part time cafeteria workers whose day had ended over an hour ago were there to give a helping hand and then…then there were the students.  None of them were forced into doing it.  All of them volunteered and I realized that for someone that spent day after day alone at lunch table seven Jamie Sullivan had more friends, true friends, then anyone could ever hope for.  'Jamie, do you realize how many lives you've touched?'

I began walking to the dumpster with the last of the trash bags when I heard her shrill of a voice pierce my ears.  "You think this is gonna make up for all that you've done to her?"

Without turning to face her I said, "Hello Sally."

"I knew you were a no good bum the minute I laid eyes on you.  You just walked into play rehearsal like you were God's gift or something and then you just preyed on the most vulnerable individual you could.  That's how you work isn't it Landon?  That's how you get your kicks?  Embarrassing and humiliating those less fortunate then you?  You really are an asshole you know that?"

I held my head down and looked at my feet_.  'Can you argue with her Landon?  Up until a few weeks ago that was you to a tee, but now…Jamie.'_  "Jamie," I sighed aloud as my eyes closed and my head fell backwards.

"Yes.  Jamie.  I hope you're happy Landon.  You've succeeded.  You've pulled off the ultimate prank.  I'm just sorry that Principal Kelly didn't make you clean all of this by yourself and if it wasn't for Jamie…well none of us would be helping you with your punishment."

I was confused for a moment_, 'punishment?  Typical.  She thinks that I was the one the orchestrated this.  Well, so did Eddie until you set him straight.  I wonder how many of the rest of these people think I was the one that did this?  Do you really care Landon?  Do you really care what these people think?  No.  As long as Jamie knows the truth…'_ I began to chuckle to myself and I could see the irritation in Sally's face.  I had an instant flashback to our bus trip.

"Don't you care what people think of you?"

"No."

I remember thinking to myself at the time, _'well what the hell is wrong with you?'_  But I knew now that she wasn't the one with the problem, all along it had been me.  I was the one with the mixed up priorities.  _'Not anymore though Jamie.  Not anymore.'_  I looked at Sally and said as politely as I could, "Think what you want of me Sally...I don't really care.  Thanks for helping out today.  I'm sure Jamie'll appreciate it."

##

"Hey Jamie!"

"Landon!  Hi."  

"Uh…hi," I said nervously.  "Where you off to?"

"Um…gym.  What about you?"

"I've got study hall."  I just stood there like an idiot looking down at my shuffling feet until I finally worked up enough nerve to ask her if I could walk her to class.  Instead of heading towards the locker room she went straight for the bleachers that surrounded the baseball diamond.  

" …Don't you like playing ball?"  

"Actually I really like baseball.  Well…I think I like it…I'm not really sure if…" 

I knew before she even finished her thought…"You can't play baseball can you?"

"Nuh uh." 

"It's easy.  All you have to do is hit the ball with a bat."

"Well, I've never hit a ball with a bat before…in fact I've never even picked up a bat, but…" 

"But what?"

"Nothing.  It's nothing."

"Hey," there was more going on here and I could sense it.  "You can tell me you know.  But what??" 

"Well…number 34 on my list is to…uh…well…"

"Well??" 'Come on Jamie.  Tell me.  Please…please trust me.'

"I want to hit a home run."

_'She told you Landon.'_  I smiled to myself and let her in on a little secret of my own.  "Well…who wouldn't want to hit a home run?  I've always wanted to hit a grand slam myself."  I was instantly lost in her eyes, but then the bell rang and reality intruded once again.  "Guess I better be going.  See ya later?"

"Sure."

I sat at the table in the library thinking about her list of wishes and it hit me that right now I only had one wish and that was to make hers come true.  _'Well…that and to get the hell out of Beaufort.  Landon, you heard her, she's not allowed to date.  So what are you gonna do about that?'_  I looked up at the clock and realized that there was still twenty minutes of class left before lunch. _'If I left now, I could make it back here in time for my next class.'_  Picking up my backpack I checked to see where the substitute teacher we had for the day was, and when I noticed her dozing at her desk, I figured it was pretty safe to go.  I snuck out of the library and headed towards the one thing that could help resolve this issue I had with Jamie:  the church.  _'Landon my man, it's time you faced the preacher.'_

##

I heard his words echoing from outside of the building and knew that it was going to be another Sunday sermon dedicated to the wrongs that Landon Carter had committed this past week. 

"Do not be deceived; God is not mocked.  For whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.  He who sows of the flesh will of the flesh reap…" 

_'Say something Landon.  Let him know you're here.  Too late.'_  He noticed me as he picked up his glass of water.

"Can I help you?" 

_'You can do this Landon.  Remember…this is Jamie you're fighting for.'_  "Uh, yes sir.  I'd… like to ask your daughter to dinner on Saturday night."

"That's not possible."  

I was disappointed but it was exactly what I was expecting.  "Well… with all due respect, sir, I ask you to reconsider."

"With all due respect, Mr. Carter, I've made my decision.  You can, uh, exit the way you entered."

_'Sorry Rev, but I'm not giving up this time.'_  "Listen, I'm sorry I haven't treated Jamie the way I should've.  She deserves more than that."  It took me losing her friendship to realize this, but now that I had, there was nothing that was going to keep me from being with her.  Not even her father.  _'Time to pull out the big guns Landon.'_  "I'm just asking you for the same thing that you teach us every day in church…" _'That got his attention.'_  "… and that's faith."

I listened as he sighed and I could hear his mind working in overtime trying to come up with plausible excuses for why he should deny me this right, but he just looked at me and asked, "What are your plans for the night?"

_'He's kidding right?'_  I was shocked.  _'Was he actually going to agree this easily?'_  "Well…uh…I thought I'd start off with a nice dinner, then…" this is where I got nervous.  Would he think my idea was stupid?  "See…"

"Spit it out Mr. Carter.  If you're intending on taking my daughter out, I want to know where."

"Jamie told me about this list that she has and I was kind of thinking that I could help her make some of those things come true."  I saw his face go white and I realized that she might have some things on that list that I shouldn't be doing with her so I immediately continued with, "like I know she wanted to hit a home run and I figured she can't really do that unless she knew how to play ball…and…well…then there's the two places at once…I haven't really figured that one out yet, but…" I trailed off and ran my hand through my hair nervously.  "Reverend, I promise you my intentions here are sincere."

He stared me up and down for a few minutes then said to me, "Where are you taking her for dinner?"

I couldn't believe it.  He agreed.  He agreed!!  _'Thank You God!  Thank You!'_

##

I felt my heart beating…thumping…POUNDING the closer I got to her house.  I grabbed the bouquet of wild flowers I bought her and made my way up her walkway.  With every step I took my pulse raced.  I was certain that all of the moisture that should've been in my mouth was now occupying the palms of my hands.  My mouth was so dry that my lips were beginning to stick together.  A chill shot through me as I pressed the doorbell and out of sheer panic I started knocking on her door, _'just in case they don't hear the bell.'  _

Reverend Sullivan opened the door and began laying down some rules and regulations for the night and set a curfew of 11pm but all the while he spoke I could hear her gentle footsteps bringing her closer to me.  The heady scent of jasmine filled my senses and I knew it wasn't the wild flowers that I held in my hand--it was Jamie.  I absently agreed to her father's request for a curfew and I knew she was close.  I could feel it.  What I didn't know was that she would change my life forever.


	14. At Last

"…And Then…I Kissed Her"

By: Jamie Sommers

Email: jamiesommers23@hotmail.com

Rated:  P/G 13 (for language)

Synopsis:  Landon Carter just got sentenced to do the spring play, but he needs help with his lines and Jamie Sullivan has agreed to help him on one condition…he had to promise not to fall in love with her.  

Chapter 14:  At Last 

"Hi."  She was beautiful.  No…more than beautiful…stunning…she took my breath away.

"Hi."

We stood there staring at one another until her father prompted me to give her the flowers, "Landon?  Did you want to stand there with those all night or were you planning on giving them to Jamie?"

"Oh…oh yeah," I chuckled.  "These are for you."

"Thank you."  

'Oh God…there's that sweet thank you.  I could live the rest of my life listening to that soft sweet voice.'

"You're welcome."  I watched as she buried her face in the flowers and looked up at me with those amazing eyes.  "Um…should we get going?"

"Sure.  Daddy?" She turned towards her father and asked him to put the flowers in water for her then kissed him good night.  

'Lucky bastard.'

"We walked side by side down the path until we reached my car, then I opened the door for her and walked around to my side of the car.  _'Jamie, I hope I'm doing the right thing here tonight.  I hope you like what I've got in store for you.'_

I made reservations for dinner at a place my mom had suggested.  It was sort of fancy, but comfortable.  Nothing too extravagant.  Jamie's not really the extravagant type.  Our drive there was somewhat quiet, both of us nervous, both of us unsure of what to say.

"Would you like to…"

"Why don't we…"

We both laughed.  "We sure have a habit of doing that don't we?  Talking at the same time I mean."

"Yes, we do," she giggled.  "What were you going to say?"

"Oh…I was just gonna say that if you want to turn the radio on you could.  What were you going to say?"

I watched as her smile lit up her face.  "I was going to suggest that we listen to some music."

"Oh." I paused before saying, "This is crazy.  I mean…it's just that…" I wasn't sure what I was trying to say.  For some reason I just couldn't get the thoughts from my mind to make their way to my voice box.

"I know what you mean.  It's like…we've never had a problem talking before and now…"

I parked the car in the parking lot of the restaurant and said, "it's like…things are different now."

She just looked at me and said, "Yes Landon, they are."  After a moment she confessed, "I'm glad I asked my father's permission to go out with you."

"What?  You asked your father's permission?" I was a bit confused at her admission.

"Uh huh…right before I called you I asked him and I was really surprised at how quickly he said yes, but for some reason he did."

"Well, I may be able to shed a little light on that."

"What do you mean?"

"I uh…I sort of asked his permission too."

"You did?"

"Yeah.  That's okay right?  I mean that I asked him and all."

"Yes," she said absently.  "It's more than okay."

I walked around the car and opened the door for her extending my hand to help her out of her seated position.  I fully expected her to remove it when she stood up, but she didn't.  In fact she threaded her fingers through mine as though she had done it a million times.  

We both looked down at our joined hands and smiled.  "Is it okay if I hold your hand?" she asked.

"Yeah.  I'd like that."  

"Me too."

I was lost, so lost.  Her eyes were sparkling.  Her skin was glowing. Her hair blew gently in the breeze and me?  Well, I was so much in love with this woman that I was having a very hard time breathing let alone moving.

"Landon?"

"Huh?"  I didn't move.  I just stood there holding her hand and smiling into her eyes.  Those beautiful eyes and those lips…I wanted to kiss them…so damn much.

"I'm not sure but I don't think they'll serve us if we don't go to a table."

"Oh…"  _'Dumb Landon.  Very dumb.'_  "Yeah, we better go."

We walked in hand in hand as they led us to an outdoor area.

"I can't believe you asked my father's permission."

"It's no big deal…he was cool about it anyways."

We sat down at our table as the waiter asked us if we'd like a beverage.

"Sweet tea please?"

"Make that two."

"This restaurant's really nice, are you sure this is okay?"

"Don't even worry about it, okay?"

"Okay."

"Choose whatever you want.  So…what'll it be?"

The waiter returned with our drinks and gave us the nightly specials.  I could see Jamie's apprehension when she listened to him recite them.

"…Frutte de Mare which is a combination of various seafood selections in a light marina sauce served over angel hair pasta for $24.95.  Duck ala Orange served with wild rice pilaf and steamed asparagus for $22.95…"

Her eyes were getting bigger as she listened and I knew she was feeling a bit guilty over the cost of the entrées.  The server stood diligently waiting for our choices and kindly suggested, "Why don't I give you a few minutes to decide?"

"Thank you.  That would be great."

The minute the waiter was away from the table Jamie leaned over and whispered to me, "I would've been happy with burgers and fries at the diner downtown."

"I know that, but I wanted to take you here." 

"But Landon…" 

"Jamie, I wanted to do this for you.  Please…just…" I sighed making every attempt to get her to relax.  "Jamie, seriously…don't worry about it.  It's okay.  Let me do this for you okay?" Looking down at the table I was shocked to see her fingers threaded through mine.  _'When did I hold her hand?  I don't know.  All I do know is that it feels good…right.'  _

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive."  

Without realizing it, I lifted her silky smooth hand up to my lips placing a gentle kiss against her fingers.  _'I hope that wasn't a mistake.' _ The look on her face was one that was difficult to read.  I didn't know if she liked it or not.  "You okay?"

"Huh?"  

"I asked if you were okay." _'Maybe you moved a little too quickly for her Landon?  This isn't just any girl you know.  Take it slow.'_  I released her hand and laid it down on the table immediately picking up my menu in order to ease the tension.

"Oh, um… Yeah.  I'm fine, just unsure of what to order."

"Well what do you like?"

"Anything really.  I'm not too picky."

"Great."  It was a relief to know that she was going to try and enjoy herself.  "Well let's take a look.  How about Rack of Lamb?"

"Mmm…nuh uh."  I watched as she made the most adorable gesture I'd ever seen.  Her nose squinted up and her head shook back and forth in a childlike motion.  

"Okay.  No lamb.  Duck ala Orange?"

"Uh…" 

_'Obviously not her entrée of choice.'_  "Okay forget the duck.   How about the Hasenpfeffer?"

"What's that?"

"It's rabbit made with…"

"Oooh…I don't think so."

"Veal Picatta?"

"Mmmm…no thank you."

_'I'm starting to see a pattern here.'_  "Let me guess…no cute food?"

"Cute food?"

"Yeah.  If it started off cute, you don't eat it."

"I guess I'm a little more picky than I thought, huh?"

"That's okay.  I don't mind.  All right.  Let's stick with the ugly animals.  You got any objections to chicken?"

"No," she giggled. 

"How does Cranberry Harvest Stuffed Chicken Breast sound?"

"Sounds perfect." She bestowed upon me one of the most charming smiles I'd ever seen just as our waiter walked back up to the table.

"Have you made your decision?"

"I think we have.  Jamie?  Uh…Jamie??"  It was no use.  She was staring at something but I couldn't make it out.  It looked like she was looking at one of the waiters. _'Maybe she knows him from church or something.'_  Well that's what I hoped anyway.  _'He's kinda good looking Landon.  Maybe she…'_

"It looks like the young lady is entranced with our dessert selection," our waiter chuckled.

_'Pheeeew…dessert tray.  Thank God.  For a minute there I thought she was entranced with the waiter.' _ "Yeah. I guess she is.  Well I guess I'll order for her."  I placed our order and watched as Jamie's eyes followed not the young, handsome waiter, but the tray he was holding.  Her eyes never seemed to leave it.

"My favorite is the peanut butter pie."

"Huh??"  

"I said my favorite is the peanut butter pie."

"Oh.  I'm sorry.  It's just that…"

"Don't be sorry.  I enjoyed watching you."

"Watching me?"

"Your eyes lit up the minute he brought that tray into view.  It was…cute."

"Cute?  My drooling over dessert was cute?  Well wait till you see me demolish one of those chocolate things.  You won't think I'm so cute anymore."

We took advantage of our time alone to get to know one another. Our likes, dislikes and pretty much everything we could think of.  

Her eyes glistened as she described portions of her favorite movie, Shining Through.  "That these two people could find love and hold onto it through all of that chaos, not to mention the end when he saves her…drags her over the border and then he…"

"Wait!!  Don't tell me!  I just may want to see it someday you know."

"Oh.  Sorry.  I just get caught up in it sometimes.  I've seen it a hundred times at least."

"Sounds like a good movie."

"Oh it is!  It really is.  You'll have to see it sometime. Maybe… Maybe you'd like to come over one night and watch it with me?"

"I'd love to…on one condition."

"What's that?"

"You have to come over to my place some night and watch my favorite movie."

"Deal.  Uh…what is your favorite movie?"

"The Terminator.  Talk about a great flick.  There's violence, blood, guts and…well…it's a classic guy film."

Her laughter bubbled up from within her, "I wouldn't expect anything less from you Landon."

I thought about the movie and how she might actually like it because of the love story between the two lead characters when…"Now that I think about it…maybe we should pick a different movie?"

"Why?  I can watch 'guy' movies Landon."

"Well yeah, but this one…uh…I mean…I uh…"

"What?"

"I forgot that there was a scene where…um…you know."

"There's a sex scene?"

"Yeah."

"Oh.  Well in that case…maybe we should pick a different movie."

"How about the Die Hard trilogy?  Classic movies!!  Bruce Willis kicks some serious as…butt and now I'm gonna stop talking about movies before I put my other foot in my mouth too."

Her laughter bubbled over as we continued to talk throughout the meal.  

"…you had to see the look on his face.  It was priceless.  Then he says, 'you're really messing with a robot's groove.'  I wish you had seen him.  At the time I really didn't laugh, but now that I think back on it…"

 "…he tried so hard to convince her that you were the wrong choice.  'But Miss. Garber, even Landon says he's naturally bad at it.'  Finally Sally says to him, 'just give it up Eddie.  It's a lost cause.'  I couldn't help but laugh when she said that because not two hours earlier you were at my locker begging me to run lines with you."

"I wasn't begging you."  

She tilted her head to the side as though she were saying, 'yeah right Landon.' 

"I wasn't."

"Mmmm hmmm."  She crooked her head even more and said in a singsong voice, "Doesn't Eddie Zimmerhoff deserve the best."

"Okay…so I was begging you.  **BUT!**  It worked didn't it?"

We laughed all throughout the remainder of the meal until dessert arrived.  _'Well, guess I don't exist anymore.'  _I took a bite out of my cake and watched as she devoured her peanut butter pie.  _'You're wrong Jamie. You're still cute.'_  I left my dessert untouched opting to take in her innocent actions and childlike grin as my after dinner treat.  Our waiter returned once again and Jamie reluctantly handed over her dessert plate thanking him in that sweet voice of hers.  

She looked around and I watched as her eyes landed on the dance floor.  _'Please don't ask me to dance.  Please don't ask me to dance.  Please don't ask me to…'_

"Would you like to dance?"

_'Shit!'_  "Uh…sorry.  I don't dance."

"Me neither, I mean… not usually in front of anybody."

_'Now what're ya gonna tell her?  Hey, here's a thought.  How about the truth.'_  "Well, no, I mean I… I don't, at all, as… as in… I can't."

"Everybody can dance.  Come on, you can't be that bad."

'You've never seen me dance.  There's no way I'm dancing.  No way on God's green…'

"Please?" 

'Oh don't do the puppy dog face…come on…not the pouty lip too.'

"For me?"

_'Son of a…'_ I have no clue how she talked me into it all I know is that one minute I'm letting my dinner settle and the next I'm stepping on her toes.

"Oof!"

_'See what I mean? Way to embarrass yourself Landon.' _ "Sorry… told you I was bad at this."

"But in all fairness you did warn me right?"

"That's right."  I was certain she thought I was some kind of dork or something, but she didn't.  She actually made a joke out of my inability to dance and relaxed in my arms. I felt at ease with her.  Like we were really getting to know each other.  I thought about what was in store for us in the night ahead and it made me wonder if I could make her number one come true.  _'Probably, but first you gotta find out what it is.'_  "So… what's number one on your list?

She shook her head slowly back and forth and I knew I wasn't going to get it out of her that easily.  So I decided to let her in on my number one.  Well, it was my number two actually, but I didn't think telling her that my number one was making all of her dreams come true, appropriate first date conversation.  "Okay… uh… number one on my list is getting out of Beaufort."

"Mmmm… I don't think getting out is gonna be your problem.  It's more like figuring out what you're going to do when you get somewhere."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you can do anything."  

At first I wasn't quite sure what to make of her comment, but then she smiled at me like…like she actually believed I was capable of achieving anything.  I was stunned.  No one, not even my mother ever believed in me that completely before, yet she did.  

"Landon?  You okay?"

"Yeah.  I was just thinking…we've got a long night ahead of us and only a few hours to get it all in so…we should probably get going."

"Oh.  You sure you're not just trying to get out of dancing?"

"Nope.  Not at all.  It was my pleasure ruining your shoes this evening Miss. Sullivan."

"Well, the shoes aren't the problem.  It's the toes that are irreplaceable." 

##

"Thank you for dinner Landon.  It was delicious.  I've never eaten in a place like that before."

"No.  It was my pleasure.  I'm just glad you liked it."

"I loved it.  Especially the pie," she said with wagging eyebrows and a slight grin.

"Well next time I'll just take you to Marie Callendar's for dinner."

"Marie who?"

"Marie Callendar.  It's a restaurant that specializes in pies.  We'll start off with her Peach Tarts as appetizers.  For dinner we can have the Dutch Apple Pie ala mode and for desert…"

"PEANUT BUTTER PIE???"

"Actually I was thinking we'd try the Heath Bar pie, but if you want to stick with peanut butter…"

"NO!  No.  Let's try the heath…Landon?"

"Yeah."

"Uh…why are we at the school?"

"Oh, well…you'll see."  I parked the car in the parking lot close to the field and we walked towards the baseball diamond.  

"Is there a baseball game tonight?"

"Nope."

"Then why are the lights on?  And why are we here?"

"I told you…you'll see."  I could sense the anticipation bubbling from within her.  I turned to see her face when we got within viewing range of the diamond.  It was a mixture of excitement and curiosity.  

The baseball diamond was completely empty but for an elderly man holding a bat, ball and glove on the pitcher's mound.  "Landon.  I wasn't sure if you were still coming or not."

"Hey Lou," We walked directly up to him and I shook his hand.  "I'd like you to meet Jamie.  Jamie this is…"

"Hello Mr. Washington.  How's Mrs. Washington doing?"

"Oh she's doing just fine Miss. Jamie.  And how's your papa?"

"He's fine sir.  Thank you for asking."

"I take it you two know each other."  _'No wonder Lou agreed so readily when I told him my plan.'_

"Well yes.  Mrs. Washington used to baby-sit me when I was younger, but…how do you two know each other?"

"Oh…well…uh…"

"We worked together for a bit when Mr. Landon here got sentenced to janitor jail."

"Oh."

"Lou here showed me the ropes on the first day."  I really didn't want to get into the whole Clay Gephardt thing so I immediately changed the topic.  "So Lou…do you have everything?"

"Yup.  Most certainly do." He bent down to retrieve the bat and handed it to me.  

"Great.  Thanks Lou."

"No problem.  Now I'm gonna make myself scarce while you two play a little ball.  If you'll excuse me Miss. Jamie.  Landon."  With a nod of his head he disappeared.

She said her farewell to him and then turned towards me and asked, "Do you always play baseball on your dates?"

"Only if the girl I'm dating has a dream of hitting a home run."

"Oh Landon."  Her eyes immediately filled with tears.

"Now this is supposed to be fun so no getting all…girly on me okay?"

"Okay." She grabbed a hold of the bat that I held out for her and said, "So what do I do?"

I walked her to home plate and taught her how to take her stance.  "Put one foot here and one foot here.  Good.  Now wrap your hands around the bat…" Once I got her settled into a comfortable position I suggested that she take a few practice swings.

"Oooof," she called out as she swung the bat and it went flying down the third base line.  "Whooops.  Guess that wasn't supposed to happen huh?"

"No," I tried not to laugh.  "Let me help you out with that."  I picked up the bat and watched as she took her stance once again.  "Okay…now…uh…" I stood behind her and wrapped my arms around hers, shadowing her form.  My hands covered hers and I whispered hoarsely, "Now…just…ahem…swing."  Her hair caught in the breeze and blew across my face.  I was completely entranced by the scent, the feel of it.  _'Jasmine.  It smells like Jasmine.'_  Just then she swung the bat in perfect form and knocked me to the ground.  

"Oh Landon! I'm sorry!"

"No.  Don't be," I stood up and dusted myself off.  "That was great.  Now do it again without me helping." 

"Okay."  She began to talk to herself under her breath, "Arms up, elbows out, bat just above the shoulder, feet apart, and……… Ooooof!"

_'There goes the bat again.'_  I jogged down towards third base and called out as I made my way back, "If you can hit the ball as far as you can throw the bat…hoooey…Mark McGuire watch out."  I stood behind her again for a few more swings, only this time I didn't lose my train of thought in her hair. Okay…I did, but I didn't fall this time.  She seemed to be doing fine while I was helping her, but it was when I stepped away that she would release the bat.  This time it flew directly towards the opposing team's dugout.  "You know what the problem is?"

"Well if I knew that Landon, I wouldn't be throwing the bat now would I?" She chuckled.

"Yeah I guess."  I ran my hands down my thighs attempting to dry my sweaty palms and said, "You don't have a shimmy."

"A shimmy?"

"Yeah…you know.  A shimmy.  All the great ones do.  Here," I took the bat from her and said, "you go over there and I'll show you."  I began to wiggle my hips and twist my feet into the dirt in a classic baseball pose.  "A shiii…_meeeee_" I swung with all my might and I must admit, even I was impressed with my form.

"Mmmkay," she said with a serious face.  "I think I've got it now."

"So…you think you're ready to swing at a few?"

"Yup."  Her look of concentration reminded me of the day I asked her out.  The seriousness.  It was as though all of her thoughts were focused on the task at hand.  "Let's do this."

I walked to the pitcher's mound and picked up the ball and glove.  Turning towards her I was just about to call out to her, but I stopped dead in my tracks and smiled.  She was talking to herself and then… _'Holy… Now that's a shimmy._'  "Okay.  Here we go."  I threw some balls to her and she missed more than she hit, but she had fun.  We both did.  We laughed and joked and on more than one occasion I had to jog down the third base line for the bat, but all in all it was a good time.  

"You two almost finished up?"  We heard Lou's call from the opened gate.

"Oh, sure Lou.  We're done here."  Lou had done me a huge favor by setting all of this up and I didn't want to take advantage of his generosity.  "Thanks…"

I began walking towards home plate when I heard Jamie's protest, "NO!  Not yet Landon.  Please?  Just one more?  Please?"

"Do you mind Lou?" I asked him with pleading eyes.

"Nah," he said with a wave of his hand.  "In fact…why don't you take two Miss. Jamie?"  He settled back against the fence and watched her.  I could see him try to cover his laughter when she did her ritual.  

She talked to herself for a few seconds, did her shimmy and then she'd nod her approval for me to pitch to her.  Only this time she took a while longer when she had that internal conversation with herself.  She seemed to be talking to herself forever and just when I thought I was going to lose my train of thought by watching her wiggle she nodded a slow and steady nod.  I pitched the ball to her and saw her squint her eyes closed and swing with all of her might.  The resounding crack caused her to open up her eyes and we all watched as the ball soared into the air down none other than the third base line.  _'Holy cow, it's going into the outfield.'_ We watched the ball start to flounder towards the outside of the foul pole when I began to chant. "Go fair…go fair…go fair…NO!"  _'There's no way in hell that…hey…God?  Please.  Please let it go fai…'_ it was at that very moment that one of those nor easterners that North Carolina was famous for blew in and we all three watched her ball not only miss the foul post but soar just over the fence.  "Holy…"

In the distance I heard a silent, "I did it."  Then it progressively got louder, "I did it!  I DID IT!! **I DID IT!!!**"

Lou began to make a whooping noise just as I screamed out in delight, "Run your bases Jamie!  Run your bases."  

She began her trek in a quick and hurried pace but once she touched first base she slowed down to a steady gallop.  Her smile lit up the night sky and I could see the reflection of tears on her cheeks.  I stood on the pitcher's mound and watched her round the bases in glee.  When she got to home plate she threw her head back and jumped with both her feet onto it while letting out a joyous, "YES!! Number 34!!!!!"  

Her head was still thrown back when I arrived at home plate to meet her.  Replete laughter echoed from her throat up to the heavens.  "You did it!"

"I did it!"  She finally lowered her head to face me.  "I did it." She stepped closer towards me and took a hold of my hand, "thank you Landon.  Thank you."

_'Jamie, I love you.'_  I could hear it's resounding cry through my head, but my lips didn't seem to move. 

"Thank you," she continued.  Turning towards Lou she said, "Thank you so much for doing this Mr. Washington.  I don't know how I'll ever thank you…either one of you.  This was just about the greatest moment…" she trailed off and I could tell she was getting choked up again.  "Mr. Washington?  Would you mind if I used the restroom to get cleaned up?"

"Not at all.  Come with me Miss. Jamie. I'll let you in."

I stood by the car waiting for her. In the distance I could see her speaking to Lou and then turning towards me.  She stood with him for a few minutes then lifted up on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek.

_'Lucky bastard.  Is everybody getting one of those tonight but me?'_

"Hey."

"Hey.  You ready for the next part of our date?"

"You mean there's more?" she asked in utter surprise.

"Of course there's more.  You didn't think this was it, did you?"

We had a long drive ahead of us and I wasn't sure if I'd be able to keep her occupied the entire time.  I knew that she would start questioning me once we had been in the car for a while so I tried to keep her mind occupied with conversation.

"Boy I couldn't believe it when that ball flew over the fence.  I mean…wow."

"Impressive aren't I?"  She giggled.  "Honestly I couldn't believe it myself.  I never in a million years thought I was capable of anything like that."

"Geez, _I'm_ not capable of anything like that.  It was really impressive."

"Well I had a good teacher."

"So…can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"What's your number one?"

She laughed and said, "You don't give up very easily do you?"

"Nope.  If I had then I'd be making this drive on my own."

"Where are we going anyway?"

"What's your number one?"

"Oooooh…that's blackmail."

"Nope, that's bargaining." 

"Well I'm not gonna tell so you might as well just give in and let me know where we're going?"

"Nope."

"Come on."

"So…how about those Yankees?"

"You're incorrigible, you know that?"

"So I've been told."

I was sure she had given up on the interrogation but then she casually asked me again, "Where are we going?"

"Just hold on… you'll see."  We drove for about ten more miles and then, _'we're here.'_  I jumped out of the car and practically ran to her side of it.  "C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, let's go."  I grabbed her hand and started running with her in tow.

"Where are we going?"

"Run!"  We stopped in the middle of the road and I said, "Okay… uh, stand there."

"All right."

"Put one foot there, and one foot there." I pointed to the specific spots in the road.

"Okay. You're acting like a crazy person, what's going on?"

_'She's doing it.'_  "Okay, right now, you're straddling the state line."

"Okay…?"  

_'You don't get it do you Jamie?  Let me explain_.'  I turned and pointed towards the sign that said, Welcome to Virginia.  "You're in two places at once."

It took her a moment before the realization hit her.  Her smile matched the one she had earlier when she landed on home plate only this time she didn't jump onto a base; she catapulted herself into my arms.  "Ahhhhhhh…"  I lifted her up and spun her around in a circle before setting her down directly in front of me.  We wore matching smiles as our fingers linked.  I rested my forehead against hers and looked into her eyes.  

"Landon," she whispered.  "I don't know what to say…"  She pulled her head away from mine and put her arms around me in a close embrace.  The hair on the back of my neck stirred as she sighed against my ear, "Thank you Landon.  Tonight's been the best date I've ever had."

##

I looked at my watch as we got into the car and realized that we still had about an hour and a half before she had to be home.  _'Just enough time to do this next thing and I know just where to do it.'  _

"So…where to now?"

"Nuh uh.  Not telling."

"Oh no Landon.  Now what??"  She faced forward and then turned quickly towards me causing her hair to whip around into her face.  Strands of it got caught in her mouth and my fingers instinctively reached towards her lips brushing the tendrils away.  

'Jamie.  Oh God I want to kiss you so badly.  Do you have any idea what it is I'm feeling right now?  How badly I want to…'

"…not gonna take me to a tattoo parlor are you?"  Her laughter brought me out of my reverie.  

"No," I shook my head.  "Your father would kill me if I did that."  

I drove back toward Beaufort to the dock where my family used to go fishing when I was a kid.  I parked the car in the middle of the parking lot, intent of finishing up the last of my surprises for her.

"Uh…Landon?  Why are we stopping?" Her eyes were going through varied emotions.  Scared, timid, questioning, excited, but never untrusting.  

"Well there's one more thing I want to check off of your list for you before the night is through."  I reached into the glove compartment and pulled out the assortment of temporary tattoos.  

There were some women in this world that were meant to wear tattoos and other's that just made them look…well…cheap, but Jamie… I knew that hers would be perfect on her.  It needed to be something that radiated innocence as well as happiness. I held the various choices in my hand at the store and knew, just knew which one it should be.  It had to be.  Butterfly.  In my head, I could see it's soft and colorful wings spread out across her shoulder blade and hoped with all my might that she would see that in her mind too.  "Okay…butterfly, rosebud orrrrrr…star."

She shook her head and replied, "you choose."

_'I was hoping you'd say that.'_  Without a moment's hesitation I said, "Butterfly."  I put the others down and asked her nervously, "Soooo…where do you want it?"

I watched, as she looked her body up and down with a flirtatious pout, trying to determine the perfect spot for it.  In a way I desperately wanted her to choose the spot that she did, but in another way, I wanted her to avoid it.  When she whispered, "here" and pulled her dress sleeve down to reveal a flawless shoulder, my mind started going into overdrive.  

_'You have no clue how sexy you are do you Jamie?  Don't think about it Landon.  Just think about the tattoo.  Yeah… the tattoo on her bare shoulder.  God, if you're up there, please help me out here.'_  I pulled the plastic film off and laid the application against her smooth skin.  

For Mother's Day last year I had bought my mom a dozen roses and a few of the petals fell off in the front seat of my car.  When I picked them up to toss them into the trash I felt the silky texture of them and thought to myself that it was probably the softest surface I'd ever feel.  Silky…smooth.  I was wrong.   _'Rose petals pale in comparison to your skin Jamie.'_  

I pressed the wet napkin against the paper appliqué and made every attempt to count to thirty in my head like the directions said, but it was no use.  Our eyes met over her bare shoulder, our lips lifted in a gentle smile and my mind screamed out for the hundredth time that night, _'I love you.'_  I tried counting again, _'17…22…19…awww screw it…30.'_  I pealed away the corner of the paper to reveal the tattoo it left behind.  I couldn't say a word; all I could do was stare at the blues and reds of the butterfly's wings fluttering across her porcelain skin.  

I leaned down to place a kiss against the tattoo that I had just applied and at the last minute chickened out, opting to blow against it instead.  This insatiable feeling, a desperate need to touch her, to feel the warmth of her skin underneath my own, consumed me.  My hand ran down her back, fingertips trailing lightly against the smooth surface.  My heart was racing as our eyes locked onto one another's.  Once again she blessed me with her beautiful smile and I knew that this feeling going through me wasn't just your run of the mill high school infatuation.  I was completely in love with her.  I loved her so much it hurt inside.  There was an ache in the pit of my stomach that had been there since the day I saw her sleeping on her porch swing when we were running lines together.  I tried to no end to snap out of this spell we were under telling myself, _'you shouldn't be doing this Landon.  You shouldn't be touching her this way.  Yeah, and she shouldn't be looking at you this way either.  Oh Jamie please stop looking at me like that.  Those eyes.  God.  Those eyes and those lips.  So full, pink… Just kiss her Landon.  No.  No.  If I do that then she's gonna think that's what I had planned all along.  To get her in my car and just…just…no.  Fine then if you're not going to kiss her you definitely need to get out of this car.'  _"You wanna take a walk?"  

After the briefest hesitation she whispered, "Yes."

We got out and walked hand in hand down the wooden boardwalk.  "When I was five or six my family used come here and we'd go fishing off the docks.  Sometimes we'd rent a boat and go out for the whole day…" I trailed off, lost in memories of happier times.

"It's beautiful.  Sometimes I wish I had opportunities to do things like that with my parents but…"

"Yeah.  I guess it's hard for you huh? I mean with your mom being gone and all."

"Sometimes, but then other times I think that this is the way God planned it so there must be a reason for it."

"You really believe that don't you?  That God lays out some sort of path or something?"

"Yes, I do."

"Hmmmm…"

"How can you see places like this, have moments like this… and not believe?"

"You're lucky to be so sure."

"It's like the wind, I can't see it… but I feel it."

"What do you feel?"

"I feel wonder and beauty.  Joy.  Love.  I mean…" her eyes were glowing brightly, I could see the excitement within them as she said, "It's the center of everything."

As I looked at her I wondered if her skin felt as soft as it looked. Could she tell that I was in love with her? Did she know? I needed to tell her. I needed to feel her. I needed to… "I might kiss you."

"I might be bad at it." Did she really believe that?

"That's not possible." I stepped closer towards her and lifted my hand to cup her cheek.  Our heads moved in one slow fluid motion, our lips joined.  _'So soft...Jamie...'_ Her lips were so delicate, full. _'Those lips... I've never tasted anything so sweet.' _The flavor of chocolate and something else lingered on them. I could tell she was holding her breath, she didn't know what to do, I wanted so badly to tell her, just open up to me Jamie. Please let me in, but it was too soon. _'Jamie…I love you.  I love you.'_ I knew the moment I pulled away that I had to tell her. "Jamie." _'Just say it Landon. Tell her. You know you want to.'_ I felt the slight smile creep up on my lips as I told her, "I love you." _'Please say it back. Please say it back.'  _My admission of love was met with silence and an uneasy feeling tingled up my spine.  "Now would be the time to say something."

"I told you not to fall in love with me."

I didn't understand what she was getting at, but then it came to me.  So many obstacles were in our path.  Her father, my friends.  Would this love I felt be strong enough to carry us through?  At that very moment I was convinced that it would be.  I loved her enough for the both of us.  She didn't have to say anything for me to know that she felt something more than just friendship for me too.  I leaned in and kissed her again.  First her lips, then her forehead.  

Our fingers clasped and our foreheads pressed against each other's.  "Landon…" she whispered.  "I'm scared."

"Of what?"

She just looked at me with tears spilling over her eyelids onto her cheeks shaking her head slowly from side to side.

"Jamie, I promise I'll never hurt you.  I'll never leave you.  I love you.  I mean it. I…"

"Shhh…" she pulled her tear-streaked face back and laid her fingers against my lips to stop me from speaking, but I kissed them instead.

I lifted my hand up to take hers away from my mouth and we just looked at each other.  I placed a light kiss against her forehead again as we stood within each other's space. Her knees bumped my own as I let my lips linger against her brow. _'I want to kiss you again, so damn badly.'_ I had to. I couldn't help it, I just needed to feel her press her lips against mine. I needed to be close to her.  _'You'll have the rest of your life to kiss her Landon.'_ I knew this to be true. Deep within my heart I knew, I would spend my life...my after life loving her, cherishing her...kissing her. My lips were still lingering across her forehead and in that one kiss, that one little kiss; I suddenly felt...beauty, joy, wonder...love. _'She's the center of everything.'_ I let my hands wander up to cradle her face..._and then_..._I kissed her_.

The End (WOW! Sniff, sniff.  It's over L )


End file.
